Three of Pentacles
by subaruxkamui4ever
Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is given something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because
1. A Strange Inheritance

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is given something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

* * *

May 1st, 2006

The Kira investigation is at a standstill. Soon after Misa signed her American recording contract and left the team behind in favor of promoting her career, the number of deaths that could only have been performed by Kira dropped dramatically. To L, this served as only more irrefutable proof that Misa was not involved with Kira in any way. Or rather, to hear it from his lips, it proved that Misa was no longer involved with Kira. It moved absolutely nothing for Raito and his cause.

This meant very little to Raito himself. By this time, he was positive that he was not Kira. But so moved was he by the fact that he'd spent precious time in his life being pursued as such, he was still just as committed to catching the killer as L was.

'But how', Raito mused as he stared motionless at the glowing monitor before him, 'was it possible to catch someone who had literally disappeared from the face of the earth?'

The murders had dwindled to nothing. Not a single person had died by the unseen hand of Kira in over two months. Both Raito and L had been reduced to simply staring at the news, watching and waiting for someone to die. As morbid as it was, Raito knew that nothing more could be done. The other men in the investigation had been placed "on call" by L, as the tension from the lack of information and Matsuda's incessant need to help had finally gotten to him. He'd sent them all home a week ago, telling them that if their services were needed any further, they would be promptly notified.

Which left Raito alone at L's mercy. They were no longer chained together, but they might as well have been. For while the chain was gone, L had demanded that Raito not only continue to live as though they were, Raito was not released with his father and the rest of the team.

"The percentage of Yagami Raito being Kira is…1 percent," L had told him as he unlocked the cuff that bound the two of them together. "Therefore he need no longer be chained to me, but must remain under strict observance." There was no trace of wonder or amusement in those wide eyes as they fixed on Raito, bearing down with an unseen but equally oppressive shadow. "If he could please continue to live here at headquarters and assist with the investigation."

Raito could do nothing. If he protested, the percentage might rise again, and he'd be forced to bind himself to the awkward man all over again. He could deal with sharing a room, but the constant restraint was maddening, not to mention downright embarrassing at times.

But that was a year and a half ago.

Now…it was all Raito could do to stay out of L's way. The lack of investigative material had brought out the older man's impatient side. Only Watari could look into the eyes of the beast without flinching. And it wasn't that L was loud, or violent. It was…

Raito lifted his eyes from his own monitor and dared a glance in L's direction. He seemed happy enough, gazing up at the screen on the wall that was showing the news from some obscure country. Unblinking, he reached out to the pile of frosted pink and yellow cookies and delicately took one between his fingers, shaking it a bit so some of the loose sprinkles fell from the top, scattering a rainbow of sugar on the desktop.

"Ryuuzaki…"

L broke his gaze on the television and brought his eyes to Raito. A tiny yellow cookie crumb clung to the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" His voice was perfectly pleasant if you were used to his sort of pleasantness, although Ratio knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. He wasn't even entirely sure if his suggestion was a good idea, but as far as he could tell, it couldn't hurt to ask.

"Well…it's been three weeks, and our attempt to draw Kira back out hasn't yet worked…it seems. Perhaps we ought to try again. Another ploy on Sakura TV might do something. We could-"

"Raito-kun." There it was. Sharp but controlled, L's voice was like a melting but still very razor thin shard of ice. "I believe it is too soon to say that it did not work. Perhaps Raito-kun is growing bored and simply speaking for the sake of hearing something."

L had long since continued to watch the news, apparently thinking Raito not interesting enough to address with eye contact. Raito bit the side of his cheek, forcing down the urge to simultaneously yell and beat L in the head with his own plate of cookies.

"You are mistaken, Ryuuzaki. I only mention it because the last time we sent a video to Sakura TV to air, Kira responded almost immediately. I was going to suggest that since this Kira is most likely a third Kira, we may need to air the program elsewhere."

L said nothing. Instead of speaking, he reached for another cookie and nibbled gently on the edge of it, almost as though he thought it was his thumb.

A minute passed.

"…Ryuuzaki?"

"I heard you, Raito-kun. I am simply choosing not to dignify your suggestion with a response." With that, he shoved the entire cookie into his mouth. A few rogue sprinkles escaped his lips, falling and hitting his keyboard with tiny, barely audible sounds.

Raito gave up. It seemed that it was one of those days. He hated to admit it, and it only crossed his mind briefly, but he felt like a distraught husband whose wife was on the rag. He could do no right, and everything that came out of his mouth was, apparently, vile.

Raito also thought, solely to himself, that if Kira didn't start killing people soon, things were going to get very ugly. The thought of someone, anyone at all, dying from a heart attack was one that lifted his spirits.

He was just preparing to storm angrily out of the room when he heard Watari's voice over the speakers on L's computer.

"L…I think you may want to see this." The television channel changed on its own to another news broadcast, this one from New York.

Both Raito and L visibly stiffened at the sight. The news anchor's voice carried the message that was already posted on the screen, bringing it to life.

"…Japanese model, actress, and recording artist Misa Amano found dead in her New York apartment this morning, from what appears to be the work of a crazed stalker. Police reports say he shot the woman multiple times, then turned the gun on himself. The investigation is continuing, but officials say…"

"That…that's impossible! She just…this morning?" Raito felt his skin grow cold with shock. The room suddenly shrank around him as he gaped at the screen. He felt his fingernails digging into his palms from far away.

"Raito-kun…I am very sorry."

Raito turned to look at L, registering the man's face and his complacent attitude. It calmed him somehow, not completely, but enough to regain his composure. He relaxed his fists and nodded at L.

"I'm fine. It was just…unexpected, that's all. I did know her for a long time."

"She was no longer your girlfriend, correct?"

Raito shook his head. "No…not since she left."

L nodded. "Was she in contact with you recently?"

"No, she wasn't." Raito thought hard, trying to remember the last time they had spoken with one another. "It was strange, really…she called and called when she arrived in New York, but after a few months, she just…stopped. I thought it was for the best."

Biting into another cookie, L changed the channel back to what he had been watching previously. Raito watched it with him, unable to pay attention to anything that was reported after the news of Misa's death. It surprised him a little, especially since she had done nothing but annoy him and cause him trouble, but still…he wouldn't have wished that end for anyone.

"Raito-kun has had a shock. I think it would be best if he retired early."

Raito paused to consider the thought. L's sudden change in attitude was refreshing, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to get anything done no matter how L treated him, and he did feel as though he needed to lie down for a bit.

"You're right…please excuse me."

* * *

It took Raito over an hour to get to sleep. He wasn't devastated, he was simply taken aback. He knew he just needed time to get used to the idea, and he buried himself under the blankets and waited until sleep finally came and stole the constant thoughts from his overworked mind.

* * *

"Raito-kun…"

L's voice was muffled as it drifted to Raito's ears by way of the thick comforter that surrounded his head. He mumbled something into his pillow, hoping he hadn't moved too far in his sleep again. Raito had a bad habit of sleeping diagonally, something that L found to be quite annoying.

Sleepily, Raito moved his legs, just in case.

"Raito-kun…I think you'd better wake up."

L's monotone, distant voice began to take form and become real in Raito's mind, and hesitantly he opened his eyes, wondering why L wasn't insulting him into wakefulness. He pushed the comforter off of his head, blinking and squinting into the morning light.

"What time is it?"

"It is 10 am, and you are needed in the lobby." L's hunched figure and informational gaze shifted something in Raito's stomach. He began to worry.

"Why…what happened? And why didn't you wake me up?" He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, running a hand through his sleep wrought honey locks. The memory if Misa came to him suddenly, but he shook his head and pushed it aside.

"I simply chose not to." Something akin to amusement tugged at the farthest reaches of L's mouth, and Raito noticed this as he dug through the dresser set for a change of fresh clothes. He assumed he didn't have time for a shower.

"I see. And I'm needed for…?"

L shook his head as he watched Raito pull on a pair of dark jeans. "That, Raito-kun…I cannot disclose."

Raito smirked. As much as L's games used to annoy him, he had to admit they were refreshing now that he was familiar with another, less playful L. He was, however, a bit wary of what was so interesting that it completely distracted L from his frustrations due to the Kira case.

"Can you tell me anything?" Raito found an acceptable shirt and buttoned it while watching L's impish half-grin.

"I believe I can say that…your father is waiting for you."

"My father? What's so funny about that?" Raito asked as he followed L to the elevator.

"Not funny, Raito-kun. I find it…very intriguing."

Shaking his head, Raito decided to ignore the older detective. At least L was able to admit he was immature.

Once both of them were inside the elevator, L reached over to the control panel, pressing the button for the bottom floor. Raito noticed, but said nothing, and instead wondered why his father needed to see him so badly. Why hadn't he just called?

'Whatever it is…L obviously already knows,' Raito thought to himself, silently narrowing his eyes at L's precarious frame. L had his thumb to his teeth, eyes wide in anticipation as he watched the small digital screen at the top of the elevator car count down the floor numbers. The corner of his lips curled upward slightly, and he turned his head towards Raito at a devastatingly slow pace. It was almost as if he was being played at half speed.

Raito met L's curious stare with a hardened, half awake glare. He didn't have to time to think of anything particularly witty to say, as the elevator car beeped politely before opening its doors to the lobby floor.

The lobby floor of L's Kira investigation headquarters was pleasant and inviting, and betrayed nothing of the stark black dreariness that inhabited the rest of the floors, no doubt due to the aura of the world's greatest detective. Dimly lit areas just seemed to somehow find him. But this floor was well lit and furnished, once you were past the numerous security checkpoints. In the center of the large room were a series of couches and chairs, spaced out with end tables that boasted matching lit lamps. On one of these couches sat Souichiro Yagami.

"Father…" Raito exited the elevator with L in tow, trailing in his footsteps. As Raito approached his father, he noticed something that had been hidden from sight behind one of the couches until just that moment, and he stopped just a few feet short of his father and stared.

Raito's father had stood up as well, but the expression on his face was one of worry and apprehension. He paused next to his son and watched his face carefully, waiting for the right time to speak.

L sat down, seeing that no one else was going to. Crawling like a sneaky child to the far end of the couch, he peered down curiously at what Raito was also staring at, albeit with a slightly less confused expression.

"Son…I'm sure you've heard about Misa. We're all very sorry for your loss."

"Yes, thank you…but I'm all right. Whose…whose is that?"

Raito was baffled. He was touched that his father had come to offer his condolences, but sitting next to his father's jacket at the end of the couch was something he hadn't ever seen his father in possession of.

A baby car seat. Or rather, a car seat with a baby in it. Raito hadn't been able to pull his eyes off of it since he'd come into the room.

The Yagami elder put his hand on his son's shoulder. "I suppose Misa didn't tell you. I didn't know either. Social services just brought him to your last recorded address. I told them that you still lived there."

Something wasn't adding up for Raito, and he reran all the information he'd just received through his mind a second time, trying to work out all the kinks. That familiar cold feeling had returned to him from yesterday.

"Misa's? But when did she…? And why is it here? Social services…" It was too much for even Yagami Raito to piece together.

L was currently perched on the arm of the couch, hanging a starkly pale hand over the car seat. He wore the same dazed expression as always, this time directed at Misa's baby, who oddly enough wasn't crying, and instead mistook L's withered hand for an odd plaything.

Raito watched all of this in horror, unable to summon up the words he wanted to say.

"Raito-kun is thinking that this baby cannot possibly be his." L brought his attention up to Raito's face, a strange glimmer shining through his dark eyes. "But Raito-kun is mistaken."

"Wh- What?" Raito directed his stare at L, suddenly unwilling to look in the direction of the baby itself. He felt trapped, and the instinct to run was overwhelming.

"Yagami-san has already shown me the birth certificate. Misa has indeed listed Yagami Raito as the legal father, but as to why she never told you…" L's eyes found their way to the ornamented ceiling, "I do not know. I have a theory, however…"

Father…? Raito had had enough. He sank into the couch in defeat, burying his face in his hands.

* * *

End Part One

AN: In 2004, Light is 18 years old. Now…let's see…L also dies in 2004, making him just barely 25 when he died in November…so. Given that, it's May 2006, L is not dead and instead is 26, Raito is 20. There. If Misa was just barely pregnant in November 2004, then…the baby's birthday was 8 7 2005. August 7th, 2005. Which means that when Raito finds out, the baby is…9 months old. This is my strange idea of a timeline. Thank you.

Thanks for reading, and please do review! It's really up to you guys how this story pans out, I have an outline with no decided ending as of yet, so if you like or not, let me know! It's actually a comedy/romance, but it's all about the setup. That's how I roll.


	2. A Cornered Decision

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

I'm really sick and can't do anything but sit all day anyway, hence the incredibly fast update. Usually I'm pretty fast, but not this fast. However, I'm really interested in writing this story because it's very different from anything I've ever written. I hope you'll enjoy yourselves as well. Thank you for all your reviews so far, they really do encourage me.

* * *

Raito's father did not stay for long. He'd brought with him the baby, the legal documentation given to him by Social Services, and a standard black baby bag filled with enough supplies and food to get the baby through a day or so. It was evident that if Misa had owned any sort of infant apparatus, it had not been passed down to Yagami Raito.

L and the Yagami elder spoke briefly, out of earshot from the poor father still in shock on the couch. Meanwhile, Raito's mind sped back and forth over the events of the past year and a half, wondering how he could have missed something so blindingly obvious.

It wasn't as though Misa had actually informed him of anything. She simply stopped calling him one day, and Raito had to admit he'd been all right with that, but in truth he'd thought it was because she was either too busy or that she'd found someone else and was hiding it from him. He hadn't cared, either way, thinking her out of his hair for good.

However improbably all of this felt as it was being dumped upon him so quickly…Raito had to admit that it wasn't impossible. The night before she'd left for America, they'd met up at her apartment. No longer chained together, L hadn't come along, and while Raito was technically still living with him, he was allowed to leave the Kira headquarters essentially whenever he chose as long as he returned within a few hours.

There was something still amiss in Raito's mind, though. He couldn't remember what it was that had led up to him visiting her that night. It was true that he was glad to see her go, but there was still a pang of jealousy left in his gut, now that he knew she wouldn't be around to make him feel important. He still knew he was, of course, but it was always nice to have fans. What was it that he initially needed to see her for? He felt as though it had been important, something he wanted to show her…or give her…

Not to mention he couldn't remember why he'd even let her convince him to sleep with her in the first place. That had been a mistake, no two ways about it, but he had put it from his mind and for all intents and purposes, forgotten about it entirely. But why would he do such a thing, and more importantly, why didn't he remember the reason behind it?

It bothered him that he couldn't remember, but what was bothering him more was the living thing Misa had left behind, that he was now responsible for, evidently. He still refused to even look in the baby's general direction, feeling that it would be too much like admitting the truth.

"Raito-kun…your father says that he will call you later. He wishes to speak with you at length."

Raito looked up, visibly shaken. He hadn't heard L return from the security checkpoint. Looking around, he noticed that his father had already left. Raito stood up. He knew had to calm his nerves, but this was really just too much.

"Ryuuzaki…." He searched the detective's face for an answer, any answer at all that would free him from this new and much more oppressive bond then the chain ever was.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" L was nothing short of chipper this morning. It seemed to Raito that his dire situation had caught the older man's fancy. "You're wondering what you should do, are you not?"

"…Yes. I'm not exactly…happy…given the current circumstances."

"No?" L climbed hands first onto the floor next to the car seat, positioning himself as he always did on the balls of his feet so that he could hang his head over the baby and stare. The baby stared right back. Raito watched all of this with a face full of dread.

"No. How am I supposed to continue the investigation? How the hell are we going to catch Kira if I have some little kid following me around everywhere? It doesn't even make any sense…" The whole situation crashed down on him yet again, and he sat back down on the couch. Perhaps he wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Well, Raito-kun, I think your fears may be unfounded. I don't think a child of this age can follow anyone. Let's see…" L dug into the bag Raito's father had left behind, producing a manila envelope filled with documentation that L ruffled his wiry fingers through, sighing to himself.

"What's that?" Raito asked despite himself. He really didn't want to know the answer, but he couldn't help but seek the information anyway.

"Born August 7th 2005. That would make this child nine months old." L's eyes drifted away from the paperwork, finding an invisible spot on the ceiling. "The date of conception, given this child was born on time would be…hmmm. My birthday." Slowly L let his gaze fall on Raito. "How thoughtful of you, Raito-kun."

Raito stared back, unable to come up with any sort of logical response, let alone a retort for L's off-color joke. The dates were making an awful lot of sense…

"And if I remember correctly," L continued, "Raito-kun returned to headquarters quite late that night. The night before Misa left for America."

L's expression was unreadable, although Raito thought he sensed a tone of discontent. However, immediately after L finished speaking he stood up suddenly and regarded Raito with a serious gaze.

"Would you like to hear my theory on Misa's lack of communication?"

Raito somehow managed to sink lower into the cushions of the couch, responding with a curt nod. It wouldn't do to discourage him, it would only fuel his fire.

"I suspect that you thought Misa had found someone else, and that was the reason for her sudden lapse in contact. But you and I both know that Misa would not truly have given up her love for Yagami Raito so easily. I believe she hid her pregnancy from you so as not to hinder you in any way. Based on the fact that she halted all communication between the two of you…and this."

L handed Raito the paperwork he had been studying earlier.

"It appears that she wanted to name him after you. Here…"

Raito scanned his eyes over the information, feeling his features change from a rumpled frown to wide-eyed interest.

"Amane Tsuki…"

"She kept her family name, as well. She could have named him Yagami Tsuki, which would technically be like naming him after you. But that would have been too obvious."

Raito closed his eyes and shoved the papers back into L's surprised hands.

"Not interested."

L blinked, but his face remained calm and rational as always.

"But Raito-kun, you are responsible-"

"Just stop, Ryuuzaki!" Raito jumped up from the couch but refrained from following through with his initial reaction, which was to pummel L into the ground.

L swayed to the side to avoid what he thought might come, but he didn't flinch. It had been a long time since Raito had followed through with hitting L. Not to say that it had been very long since Raito had wanted to hit L, there was just something that had slipped in the way of that reaction as of recently.

Raito let his hand drop and turned his back to L.

"I'm going back."

"Back where?"

"Back to bed!"

Raito helped himself to the elevator, leaving a wide-eyed L and Amane Tsuki staring after him.

L stood still and silent for a moment, pondering his many options. He wondered if it wasn't such a bad idea to give the baby away. There were people that truly wanted babies…somewhere. He'd heard of them, anyway, but it seemed that they were never the ones who actually ended up with the babies.

He looked back down at Raito's baby, who'd found his own thumb and decided it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. L felt himself smile, and brought his own thumb to his mouth, wondering what he ought to do.

He lifted his cell phone delicately to his ear, hanging it in the air a few inches from his head. Watari answered promptly.

"Yes…please. I'm in the lobby. Do you see? Yes…it is. It is Raito-kun's…. yes. Everything…hmmm…I think the one right next to ours. Thank you very much." L listened for a moment, and then turned to look down at the baby. "I see. Yes. Very well."

Snapping the phone shut, L crouched down on the carpet next to the car seat, regarding Raito's son with a dazzled stare. L liked children. They were infinitely intelligent for creatures that couldn't lift a finger to help themselves. He'd always wanted to know just how smart they really were. No one could say, really, since they couldn't speak. But L thought that it might be interesting to study it himself. And since Raito had no use for the child…

L unbuckled the harness and took the straps off of the baby's arms. He didn't seem to mind, but when L went to lift him out of the seat, he began to fuss. He didn't cry, but he did whine, and loudly at that. L let go of his arms and wondered if he was doing it wrong.

"Don't make that noise…you sound just like your father."

* * *

A knock sounded on the other side of L and Raito's bedroom door, which alone was strange enough for Raito to lift his head and give the door a thoughtful stare. L would never knock, and Watari would never show up in L's personal space without orders from L himself, or sometimes Raito. Sheer curiosity lifted him from his seat and took him to the door.

On the other side stood L. He was holding the baby, although it wasn't quite how Raito had been taught to hold one. In fact, Raito had to hold back a grin as he realized that L held babies the same way he held everything else. His hands were under the baby's arms, and he held it away from himself and dangled it in the air. If Raito didn't know any better, he would have though L was trying to give the baby to Raito.

"What is it, Ryuuzaki?"

"Raito-kun…" L held Raito's gaze with an expressionless stare. "This baby looks just like Amane Misa. Don't you think?"

Raito grimaced at the mention. He was starting to dislike her even more in her death, now that she'd gone and dumped her problems on Raito. Even if in the deepest part of his heart he knew that it was his problem too, the mere thought if it all infuriated him. He shut the door in L's face and took his seat again in a chair that was placed in the far corner of the bedroom.

It didn't take long for L to reopen the door and enter the room, as Raito knew he would. This time, however, Tsuki was being carried as one might carry a laptop. He hung precariously between L's forearm and his side, and his head was upside down. He seemed to like that.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you how to hold a baby?" Raito asked, disturbed at the fact that he even cared enough to voice his opinion on the matter.

L stared down at the baby, thinking back. "…No. Raito-kun, will you show me how to hold this baby correctly?"

"No."

L considered that for a moment before nodding. He placed the baby on the floor where both he and Raito could see.

"I have decided that this baby cannot walk. However, he is able to crawl, and he attempts to pull himself up when given the opportunity. He also has very sharp nails, and likes to scratch other people. I have not decided why he likes this so much."

Raito laughed quietly, despite himself. His mind was filled with a great many emotions and thoughts, most of them negative, but even in his state he was able to detect that L was in a better mood than he'd been in for weeks. That fact alone made Raito much happier than he'd been for weeks, although he chalked that up to self-preservation. L had become something awful in the face of possible, but here he was now with something new to play with. He was renewed.

As far as Raito was concerned, L was welcome to do whatever he wanted with the baby. Raito wasn't interested.

The baby, seeing that no one was going to entertain him, decided to do so himself. He was able to crawl, just as L had said he could, and he promptly crawled over to the side of the bed and began to try and pull the sheets off. Of course he wasn't nearly strong enough, but it seemed that L found great amusement in watching him try.

While L was occupied, Raito took the opportunity to sneak a peek at his so-called son. L was right; there was nothing about Tsuki that didn't remind him of Misa in some way. He had the same hair, although it was baby fine and so blonde it looked like more of a sheen then a head of hair, and large blue eyes. His skin wasn't as pale as hers had been, it was still quite pale but had more of a yellow undertone, something Raito suspected was more like his own.

"Ryuuzaki…you don't actually think that I should keep him. It's impossible…I can't take care of a baby." It wasn't a question, more like a supposed statement, and L took his time with responding.

"That sounds like a conversation that ought to have been held October 31st, 2004. Not to mention I'm not the one you should have had it with."

Raito couldn't say anything to that.

"I have to add," L continued, not taking his glazed eyes from the baby, "that this sort of accident does not seem like the sort that Yagami Raito would have made. Even if he had perhaps taken in too much alcohol that evening."

"…I hadn't taken in any alcohol."

"I see. I apologize for assuming, but alcohol seems to be the number one cause of pregnancy. I wonder what Raito-kun had in mind, then, if ha was indeed thinking clearly."

Raito wondered that himself.

"…I'm not sure."

L got up on his haunches, balancing himself on his feet near the baby, who was sitting upright next to the bed. He gave the baby a small push in the stomach, causing him to fall backwards and hit the back of his head on the carpet. Tsuki laughed. L watched all of this happen with the mild interest of someone conducting an experiment.

"Ratio-kun, when you say that you're not sure…do you mean that you don't remember, or you don't want to say?"

"I mean…I don't remember. I know that probably raises your percentage, but it's the truth." Raito had long since given up hiding. "Anyway…I can't keep him. There's no way we can catch Kira with a baby."

"Ah…that reminds me, Raito-kun. I have been thinking about many things while you slept this morning. I would like to share them with you, since you are no longer having a fit."

Exhaling through his nose, Raito gave L a solid glare.

"I was not having a fit. I was having trouble…adjusting."

"Yes. However you put it, you are finished now and I feel we can have a conversation. Yagami-san called me very early this morning to let me know the situation ahead of time."

"What!" That information actually shocked Raito. "Why would he tell you first and not myself?"

L fidgeted with his fingers, eventually bringing his thumb to his mouth anxiously. Raito knew it was time to give him more sugar, although he wasn't sure if L had realized it yet.

"I think Yagami-san made an excellent decision. He did not want for both of us to find out at the same time. He was not sure how I would react, but he knew that I should most likely receive the information easier than you, since it does not affect me in the same manner. He also wanted to find out if I would take you off of the investigation given the new circumstances, so he could adequately prepare."

Raito sat still, watching the dark man speak almost entirely to the carpet. Even Tsuki had stopped trying to unsheet the bed in favor of watching L talk.

"I hadn't thought that far…"

"I assumed you hadn't, which is why I'm bringing it up now. It's up to you whether to keep this baby or to give him up to the proper authorities. However, this will affect your current living situation and status as an investigator of mine."

Raito frowned, getting very frustrated with not being able to follow anything that had happened that day. "What do you mean?"

"It is entirely up to you. If you decide to keep your son, you are free to continue living here and assist me with the eventual capture of Kira. But if you choose to relinquish your parental rights, I will have no choice but to return you to your normal life. I will continue the investigation on my own."

"What! Why would you even do that?" Raito couldn't piece together the inane logic no matter how hard he tried.

"The percentage of Raito-kun being Kira is now less than one percent, due to his unfortunate display of decision making capabilities. His assistance in my investigation is still invaluable. That is all I can say at this time."

"That doesn't even answer my question, Ryuuzaki. What could you possibly gain from having a baby around here all the time?"

"It would not be all the time. I have arranged for his care during normal working hours. If you choose to continue with the investigation, he will attend the very best daycare that can be obtained here in Japan from 9 in the morning until 5 in the evening, after which he will return here. As it stands, Raito-kun," L's voice became lower and more drawn out than before, "Kira has either died, or chosen to stop his judgments for the time being. I will never give up on catching Kira, but we cannot draw him out, and we cannot catch him at the moment. I am considering taking on minor cases that can be solved easily in the meantime, until our primary case picks up."

"Am I to assist you with those, as well?"

L nodded. "Your help will be necessary."

Raito had to pause and consider where his various feelings were truly coming from. Something about the way he felt struck him as odd. For while there were many things that L had suggested that startled him, not one of them affected him so much as the thought of leaving L behind for good. He had noticed that over the time they'd lived together that the older man's eccentricities had stopped annoying him, and at some point become fascinating. Even past that, recently they had become something akin to reassuring, normal even. The thought of moving out made his mind worry, as it should have, but for some reason the idea that L would not be going with him made his heart lurch. It ached, and Raito did not like it much.

But then, there was the business of this baby. Raito did not want this baby, and to his knowledge had not even wanted to perform the deed that had consequently brought Tsuki into existence. But somehow, L seemed to want the baby in Raito's stead, or if not that, then he wanted Raito to want the baby. Which was it? And weren't both options strange, either way?

Feeling as though someone else were in control of his life for the very first time, Raito lifted his hands up in the air weakly, admitting defeat. If L wanted to put it like that so badly, then L would have his way. It wasn't as though any attempt on Raito's part to have his own way would produce anything similar. L had all the hold he needed for a lifetime and more.

"Fine, Ryuuzaki, you can have your way. But I still feel the same way. I don't want to have anything to do with him."

L rocked back and forth on his feet, miraculously keeping his balance.

"I thought you might say that. I haven't prepared anything to say in response."

* * *

End Part Two

That was a lot longer than I expected it would be when I started it this morning. Although it didn't feel complete until I reached this point. Geez, I think this fic might be pretty long, so you all should settle in for the long haul.

Anyway, I hope you liked it! I sure do…lol, it's the next best thing to mpreg. Lemme know what you think! As promised in my last fic, here's the list of my treasured contributors!

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Wanna see your name here? All it takes is one review!

Thank you very much!


	3. A Desperate Stalemate

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

Pretty detailed mentions of the delicious events in episode 25, so if you haven't watched it yet…what's wrong with you? Go watch it! You'll be incredibly happy, especially if you only watch three quarters of it and then shut it off. That's the best way to watch it.

* * *

Raito felt numb. The entire day had passed by him like a haze, a filthy smog that he didn't even bother to try and see his way through. Lying on his stomach on the bed, he idly watched as Watari transformed the room next to his and L's into a pristine nursery.

The floor that Raito and L shared was very close to the top of the Kira investigation headquarters, about 3 floors shy of the roof. The layout was very wide open and spacey, and each room was almost twice the size if not more than one of its normal counterparts in any common house. There was an extremely large kitchen, fully stocked, and next to that a dining area, which had been seldom used until recently, when there was no longer any need to eat quickly while working. There was a living room with a large flat screen television and plenty of chairs and couches to entertain 20 or more, as well as a computer desk where L sometimes could be found working steadily into the night.

Several bathrooms and empty bedrooms littered the outskirts of the floor, and in the particular hallway that L and Raito's bedroom was located in there were also three others currently unoccupied.

'Make that two,' Raito thought irritably. He hoped it was loud enough for L to hear…somehow.

His distaste for the situation was not growing. It had reached an impasse, due to L's sudden and strange lobby to keep Raito's child. And more than anything else, Raito did not like ultimatums. He sincerely hoped he was making that clear by refusing to leave the bedroom, although the fully functioning part of his mind told him that L had most likely not noticed his absence in the clutter of events. That thought, too, was another driving force in the bitter camp he'd set up on the bed, although that one he wasn't paying much mind to, as it felt out of place and, quite frankly, too confusing to inspect at the moment.

* * *

Meanwhile, L was having more fun than he'd had all year. He was currently learning the correct way to hold a baby, via the Internet. Tsuki was amazingly patient through it all, he noticed, but that was most likely due to the fact that he had no idea who L was, or even where he was at all.

It had surprised L at first how strange it felt to hold something so close to himself.

L did not know why he held things the way he did, but it seemed to him to be an attempt to keep things literally at an arm's length. He wondered briefly if it connected to the way he treated people, even those that he considered to be close, friends even. L had a friend now, so it was something to take into consideration. He thought back to the conversation he'd had with his friend on the rooftop, both of them soaked to the skin with rain. He'd told Raito something that day he tried not to give much thought to, but it had seemed appropriate somehow.

"I'm distant in my relationships with everyone. I don't trust anyone, either."

Raito had allowed L to touch him rather intimately after that. L wasn't sure what he had been trying to accomplish, but he had wanted to show Raito that he could, that he was capable of human contact. He wanted Raito to know that. It wasn't much, and perhaps it was odd, even. When L had taken hold of Raito's foot the younger man had visibly been startled, but he didn't stop him. L still thought of that often. He also knew that there still wasn't anyone else he needed to prove that too.

Tsuki began to chew on the sleeve of L's shirt, bringing his attention back down to the here and now.

"…That is not for you to eat."

The baby paused and looked up, watching L. L looked back, watching Tsuki in return. Tiny wide eyes met their adult counterparts, and neither one moved or said anything for a few moments.

"You are a strange child. Why don't you cry?"

Tsuki smiled, but said nothing. His smile revealed two small bottom teeth, right in the front of his mouth.

"I have been told that I was the same way. I did not cry often, either. But you have not eaten since you arrived, and therefore I believe you must be hungry. You should cry if you are hungry."

The baby twisted a little in L's still awkward grasp and reached up to grab a stray piece of midnight hair that hung over L's forehead, pulling it down just slightly.

"Ba."

L considered that for a moment, wondering what it meant.

"…I see."

* * *

The undeniable force of hunger eventually took Raito away from his lonely post, and he wandered sock footed out into the kitchen. He scanned the room until he found L at the dining room table eating what he no doubt would have called his dinner. A wide array of different kinds of cake slices and bowls of individually wrapped candies littered the tabletop, making his open laptop appear out of place. Watari had long since finished readying the room for Tsuki and was nowhere to be seen, but Raito knew that did not necessarily mean he was not there. He was simply nowhere to be seen.

He purposely did not notice the high chair that was stationed next to L's seat, nor did he consciously see the baby strapped in it, happily feeding himself what appeared to be dry cereal pieces. Raito helped himself to the fridge, rooting through the contents before deciding on something easy, a microwaveable meal.

"Good evening, Raito-kun. I trust you are well rested?"

Raito responded by slamming the microwave door shut and pressing the buttons on the front of the machine. He had no interest in playing into L's devious hands tonight.

But the older detective understood this and wouldn't be ignored. He instead chose to reform his sentence structure so that Raito's own input would not be necessary.

"Tsuki-tan, Raito-kun is ignoring us." L took another bite of chocolate ganache, savoring the taste on his palate for a few seconds.

Raito looked up just in time to see Tsuki pick up a piece of food, inspect it for a moment, and then throw it over the edge of his high chair. Both L and Raito watched it fall to the dining room floor.

L looked up and met Raito's stony gaze.

"I agree with Tsuki-tan. You should not ignore your friends."

Raito turned away from the two and instead watched his food spinning slowly inside the running microwave. He knew he wasn't mad at L, or even that baby…he was just angry. This was in no way how he pictured his life, his future…

He took his food from the microwave when it beeped and sat down in his usually spot next to L and ate in silence. L and Tsuki followed in suit.

Every now and then, Raito snuck a look at L's face to see what he was thinking. The older man did not seemed to be bothered in the least by Raito's behaviors, which struck Raito as suspicious somehow. He wondered why L was allowing him to continue acting as he was. Raito was obviously out of line, and he knew it. Why wasn't L doing anything about it?

A sneaking sense of doubt crept into the back of the younger man's mind. Was there some sort of motive here? Glancing back at L, he watched as the detective ate off of several different pieces of cake, trying all of them before starting back at the first again. What was going on in that unfathomable head of his?

"Raito-kun, if you want to ask me something, please do." L turned to stare at Raito, the fork still in his mouth.

Raito looked back to his food and finished his plate, choosing not to respond. If anything were going on that he needed to know about, L would have to tell him eventually. If there was anything he'd learned from living with L, it was that all they had was time. All he needed to do was wait it out.

Finishing his dinner, Raito disposed of the packaging and stood behind the kitchen counter, watching L's back as he ate. Normally at this time of the day Raito would be giving L a lecture on proper nutrition and forcing him to take a few bites of whatever he was having for dinner himself. He could see himself sitting there at the table in his mind, wondering how this particular day's conversation would have ended. He wished that he were having that conversation with L, right then. He wished things hadn't changed.

Raito sighed miserably. It wasn't very much like him at all to be acting this way. He hadn't realized how much he enjoyed his old life until this new one had arrived. Opening the cabinet on the wall, he took out a bottle of daily multivitamins and shook one out. Capping the bottle and shutting it away again, he took it over to L and set it down on the tabletop on front of him without saying a word.

L picked up the vitamin immediately and turned it around and around between his fingers. Raito stood behind him and watched, waiting for him to take the damn thing already.

L popped it into his mouth, washing it down with a sip of tea.

"I understand. You wish for me to continue to take my vitamins because you are still concerned with my well being. So you are not angry with me, then, but rather the situation."

Raito didn't know whether it was because he was L, the first, second and third greatest detectives in the world, or if it was because he was Raito, and L just knew him inside and out. L turned his head to look Raito in the eyes, keeping his balance on the edge of the dining room chair. His eyes were black, holding a tone of familiarity.

"I'm afraid you have something you need to do tomorrow. Tsuki-tan will begin his full time care on Tuesday, but we need a recent doctor checkup for registration. I cannot take him because I am not his legal guardian. You will have to take him tomorrow. The appointment has already been made."

Raito felt his jaw clench. There it was. Involuntarily his eyes darted over to Tsuki, who had finished his food and was banging his hands on the high chair tray for more. When the baby noticed that he had Raito's attention, he smiled.

"Ba."

Ratio felt his lip curl. He looked away from the baby to L, who was leaning over the backrest of the wooden chair and looking at Raito's face, an intense gaze filling his eyes.

"Ba," he said, never losing his solemn stare.

Raito turned on his heels and marched down the hall, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

L sipped at his tea luxuriously, swirling a spoon around the dark liquid in a counterclockwise motion. He watched the sugar dissolving in the bottom of the cup.

"You are right, Tsuki-tan…that is very effective."

* * *

End Part Three

This is the strangest family I have ever seen, lol. I have a strange family, and I come from a strange family, and I also married into another strange family. This one is stranger. But I wish I were in it, anyway rofl. Do you?

It's the famed LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS!!!

Allaboutcontests

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You make me want to dance and sing. Thanks so much for reviewing! For everyone who hasn't yet, you know what to do!


	4. A Secret Investigation

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

* * *

Raito was quite used to waking up alone. He was also used to falling asleep alone. There was a point during the night he knew of, however, when he was not alone. It was the peaceful moment when all of the night owls of the world had finally fallen asleep, and the early risers weren't quite awake yet. There wasn't a definite point in time that this occurred each night, but that was the time when L finally came to bed. Raito was not consciously aware of it when he crawled in under the covers, and L was always gone by the time Raito woke up, but if L had not been there at all during the night, Raito would know it. He never spoke of it, and L never asked, but it could be said that they shared a bed together.

L had not slept in it that night.

Raito was already aware of this as he neared consciousness, his own precious sleep being interrupted by an unsettling sensation that overcame him, as though he were being watched. Or…

"Raito-kun."

Raito lifted his eyelids and took in the sight. He was far too used to this sort of thing to jump or be startled.

L's feet were on the mattress on the opposite side of the bed from Raito, what Raito would call "L's side". Perched like a blackbird on a fence, he hovered over Raito and attempted to poke him awake by means of his exposed shoulder.

"Raito-kun. The appointment is very early. Please wake up."

"Hhnnnn…" Raito knew he had been forgetting something. Oh, right…he had a child. What a wonderful realization to wake up to. He pushed his face further into the pillow, willing the world away.

"Raito-kun."

The younger man brought his face out of the pillow and stared at L sleepily. If he didn't respond, L would continue to say 'Raito-kun' over and over again in that dreary voice until Raito wanted to scream. It had happened far too many times for Raito to make that mistake once more.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

L, visibly brightening at the response, lifted up something held between his thumbs and his forefingers delicately, as though it might burn him.

"What do you think about this?" L kept positively still, despite sitting precariously on the mattress, and waited for Raito to respond.

He held a tiny outfit that was no doubt meant for Tsuki. It was a white, two-piece set made from fuzzy material that looked like wool not yet shorn from a sheep. The bottoms were long and had feet, and the top was built like a hoodie, with little ears on the top of the hood.

"What is that, a bear outfit?" Raito rubbed at his eyes, wondering where it had come from.

"Yes."

Raito smirked.

"I think it might be a little small."

L stared at Raito, his slate rimmed eyes drifting up to the ceiling for a few seconds before he responded.

"That is very funny."

Raito muffled a grin into the pillow. He knew that the detective meant it honestly, despite how much he reeked of sarcasm. That was just how L laughed.

'This man is 26 years old' Raito thought to himself, rubbing the smile out of his face and onto the pillow. Raito had always thought that L looked his own age, and possibly just a little younger. But sitting on the bed as he was right now with an almost animate expression, Raito thought he looked more like 16 than 26. Maybe even 6.

"If Raito-kun wants me to wear a bear outfit, all he has to do is say so."

"Very funny. Is it time to go yet?" Raito pushed himself out from beneath the covers, wondering if it had been the best idea to lift the ban on speaking.

"Soon. You have half an hour before Watari will be driving you to the appointment, at which time he will wait for you outside until you are finished."

Raito began to search for something to wear, but before he could get very far, he could feel those two maniacal eyes on the back of his head.

"What is it, Ryuuzaki?" he asked, rummaging around in a drawer for something appropriate.

"I think that Tsuki-tan should wear this to the appointment. What are your thoughts on the matter?"

"I don't care what you put him in, just make sure he's ready. I don't want to spend a lot of time on the matter."

L disappeared, leaving Raito to his preparations.

* * *

The car ride was more than silent. It was empty.

Raito sat in the back, the baby in his car seat and strapped to the seat opposite him. Just as he'd suspected, Tsuki had arrived dressed in L's chosen attire, although it wasn't as strange as Raito had originally thought it might be. He remembered seeing numerous babies dressed similarly when he used to go out more often. It was some kind of popular fashion. Raito was more shocked that L found such a thing appealing. For someone who had worn the same outfit almost indefinitely, he sure did seem to know what was popular in infant fashion.

In his hand he clutched the manila envelope that L had given him just before he left. There were papers in there necessary for identification and registration with the doctor's office, since L had chosen the doctor Raito was on his way to see as Tsuki's primary pediatrician.

The doctor's office was located in a medical building not more than fifteen minutes away from L's headquarters, and Raito found the correct room without trouble. He put the baby down immediately on the soft carpet of the waiting room near a play area that was set up to entertain children who were waiting to be seen. Leaving Tsuki to play, he signed in at the window and then sat down in a chair to wait.

As Raito sat in the chair, the same uncomfortable one they use in all waiting rooms, he looked at the white walls and smelled the sterile air and felt as though everything around him were…surreal. He felt as though he'd walked into someone else's life and was expected to just pick up where whoever it was left off. He supposed that person would have to be Misa. Did she do this? Did she take Tsuki to doctor's appointments, enroll him in daycare, feed him and take care of him?

Raito shook his head at his own stupidity. Of course she did, she was his mother.

Tsuki's mother.

It was an odd thing to say, or even think, but Misa was a mother when she died. And he had been a father all this time, unbeknownst to him. He'd never even thought to get a paternity test, and even now he knew it would be useless. Not only did everything add up just too well to question, there was a tiny part of him that knew, just knew that this baby was his. Perhaps that was what made him so angry.

Raito wanted children of his own. Not now, and most definitely not with Misa, but he had always assumed someday he would have them. But not like this.

Having children didn't mean someone showed up one morning with a baby that was almost a year old and left it on your doorstep. Having a baby meant being in love with someone and taking care of them while they were pregnant. It meant staying up all night in the delivery room and holding someone's hand while they screamed from the pain. It meant holding your own baby the moment it was born, knowing that it was yours and looking into its eyes for the very first time. It meant all that and more…didn't it?

Raito felt that was the only proper way to raise a child. You couldn't call yourself a family without those things, not a real one, anyway.

He also felt slighted that Misa hadn't told him anything. He wasn't sure what he would have done upon hearing it from her mouth, but he hadn't even been given the chance. He felt as though she'd stolen something away from him, something he could never get back.

Sitting alone in cold and soundless waiting room, Raito hated Misa twice as much as he'd ever done while she was alive. But Misa was dead and probably cold in the ground by now, and the only thing left for him to hate of hers was this baby, the one she'd hidden from him.

"Amane Tsuki?" A short, black haired nurse opened the door, shaking Raito from his thoughts. "The doctor is ready for him."

There was a heavy weight in his heart, and it held Raito down as he scooped up the baby and followed the nurse into one of the many empty rooms waiting for patients to be seen in.

The nurse closed the door behind them and Raito gave Tsuki to her. She stripped him down to his diaper, weighing him and measuring his length and the circumference of his head. She wrote everything down on a chart and then gave Tsuki back, assuring Raito that the doctor would be in shortly.

Raito looked around the room, taking it in for the first time. He was seated in another waiting room style chair, and on the other side of the bleach white room there was a waist high examination bench covered in a sheet of thin paper. The floor was hard; there was no carpeting so he couldn't put Tsuki on the ground, and he'd fall off the bench in an instant. Raito resigned himself to holding his son.

A loud knock sounded on the other side of the door before it swung open slowly, revealing an older man in the standard white coat, most likely in his early fifties.

"Amane Tsuki?" He asked, a kind smile spreading across his face. Raito couldn't help but be polite and return it as he brought the baby over and deposited him in front of the doctor on the bench.

"Okay, let's see…" The doctor laid Tsuki back on the table. "What's this appointment for?"

"Oh, he needs this form filled out, he's starting at a new daycare tomorrow." Raito fished through the envelope until he came up with the correct form. "Also, I think this information needs to go to the front desk, since this is his first visit."

The doctor took the form, but waved his hand at the rest of the paperwork. "Just take it to the front after we're finished here, they'll take care of everything for you."

Raito nodded and sat back down, watching the doctor work with a mild interest. He checked Tsuki's ears and eyes, all his joints and his feet, marking things down on the same chart that the nurse had used.

"All right…what's his diet like?"

Raito's mind hit a speed bump, and quickly he thought back, trying to remember.

"Um…I'm not really sure. I haven't really…uh, been the only one taking care of him."

"That's fine…the mother isn't here with you?" he asked, feeling Tsuki's stomach.

"No, she…she actually died not too long ago."

"Oh, my apologies." The doctor smiled at Tsuki and lifted him by his arms into a sitting position. He brought out his stethoscope and listened to his chest. "How are his sleeping habits?"

"Well…I think they're fine." Raito felt oddly about not having any of the right answers. Did it reflect badly upon him?

"How many naps does he take during the day?"

Raito looked up at the ceiling, hoping in vain that the answers would be there. Why didn't L tell him all these things before he left? He didn't know anything about his son.

The thought of that struck him hard in the gut. He was a very bad father…wasn't he?

"…I'm not sure."

"That's fine," the doctor gave him another warm smile as he checked Tsuki's back. "He seems well enough, he's very happy and he's developing normally. Who is it that takes care of him for you?"

There, finally a question that Raito could answer, but it wasn't as though he could tell the truth. 'L, the man with Interpol, the FBI, the CIA, and the world's police force in his grasp, is taking care of my son.'

"I live with a friend of mine. He's watching him for me until he starts daycare tomorrow."

"Well, the only thing we need to talk about here is his weight. He's just a little underweight for his height and age. Otherwise he's fine. And it's nothing to worry about since most children his age lose weight when they start to crawl. Make sure he keeps drinking formula until his first birthday, even if he's eating other food."

"Oh, I know for sure that he's crawling," Raito told him confidently, glad to finally have a piece of information to give to the doctor.

"Perfect. Everything looks fine here. I'll finish this form for you and leave it with the receptionist. Just pick it up on your way out, all right?"

Raito nodded and took the baby, watching the doctor leave the room. Wordlessly he redressed Tsuki and dealt with the receptionist, making sure they had all the information they needed before he left.

* * *

"…Ryuuzaki." Raito was trying to enjoy his dinner, but he knew that the older man's plan was going to end very badly.

"Yes, Raito-kun? The doctor advised that he needed to gain weight, correct?" L sat in the chair next to Raito's, enjoying his own dinner of strawberry shortcake and triple fudge brownies.

"Yes, but…cake? I don't think he should…" Raito paused, thought about what he wanted to say, and decided against it. However, L was already threading the rest of it together for him.

"You don't think he should have cake? I though Raito-kun had decided he wanted nothing to do with this baby?"

Raito stabbed at his dinner with a fork. "I don't."

"That is still all right, but if you will not make the proper decisions that Tsuki-tan needs you to make, then I will be forced to make them for you." L took a good-sized piece of yellow cake with white frosting off of one of the plates on the table and slid it onto the high chair tray. "I have decided that he needs cake."

Raito watched the two of them tiredly. He didn't feel like arguing with L.

Tsuki stared at the cake, which was almost as big as his own head. He reached out hesitantly at first, not sure what he was supposed to do with it.

"Tsuki-tan, you are to eat that cake. It will help you think."

Tsuki looked at the cake, and then looked back up at L

"Ba!"

L nodded his head slowly in response, keeping his gunmetal eyes trained on Tsuki's big blue ones.

Raito buried his face in his hands. He felt like he was lost on another planet.

"There…you see?" L's throaty voice pulled Raito from his temporary refuge. "He likes it."

Raito dared a glance in Tsuki's direction. The baby had his hand in the very center of the cake, and he was pushing his fingers around in the frosting. Evidently, he had tried to taste it upon L's encouragement, and now was trying to grab a large handful of it.

"Wow…" Raito forgot about his baby stalemate for the moment and stared. "He understood you?"

L nodded without taking his eyes of off Tsuki, watching his progress with a calculating eye.

"Yes…I believe so."

Raito gaped at Tsuki. He had assumed that since he looked like Misa, then he'd most likely be like Misa, something Raito wanted nothing to do with. But Raito wasn't even sure if Misa was as smart in her adulthood as Tsuki appeared to be right now.

"It appears as though Misa's level of intelligence did not affect him in the womb." L mused, voicing Raito's thoughts.

Raito sat back in his chair and continued to eat his dinner, keeping one eye trained on L and the baby.

Tsuki had grabbed a fistful of cake and was now attempting to stuff it into his mouth. He missed the first time, smearing a few inches of white frosting across the side of his cheek. On his second try he fared a bit better, and using his bottom teeth he scraped some of the cake off of his hand, since it was now stuck in-between his fingers.

The clean hand went into the cake next, sufficiently coating it in a yellow and white paste that the cake was beginning to become. That hand went to his mouth and this time he shoved his fingers in, as well, and sucked on them for a while. He smiled at L around his fingers, apparently enjoying the cake.

"Raito-kun, would you like some cake? You seem to be interested in it."

"No, thank you," Raito mumbled, pushing the rest of his dinner around on his plate with his fork.

Tsuki threw his hands over his head in elation. Raito thought maybe the sugar was getting to him. The baby let out a loud, high-pitched 'Ooooh!' and brought his hands down on top of his head, smiling so hard his eyes closed. When he brought his hands down to the cake again for more, there were two very sticky and very sugary white and yellow handprints on both sides of his head.

"Ba ba ba ba…" Tsuki got louder, and he began to slam his palms down into the cake, laughing at the sounds it made.

Raito watched it all in silence, slightly mortified at the sight of such a mess. If L thought he was going to clean it up, he was sadly mistaken.

L had been watching everything in earnest from his station at the edge of his chair. His toes crossed and fidgeted with each other, his mouth working on his thumb in the same manner. As Raito watched him carefully from the corner of his eyes he saw L smile, just a bit on one side of his mouth.

"Hmmm…" That deep, guttural sound rose up from the back of his throat. Raito took his dinner plate to the sink, knowing better than to interrupt the older man when he got like that. He wasn't interested in hearing any of his theories. He rinsed off his plate and slipped quietly out of the room.

L felt his phone beginning to vibrate, and he snatched it up out of his pocket and answered it in a flash before the unit had a chance to ring.

"Watari."

"L…the NYPD have responded to your request pertaining to Amane Misa."

"Oh?" L reached out with a fork, stabbing a piece of cake that was nearly out of his reach. "What did they say?"

"They will agree to your request, in exchange for your silence. They do not wish for the public to become aware of the situation."

L nodded; American police never wanted to get their hands dirty with anything they deemed foreign.

"That is fine. Please let them know. Also…" L glanced over to Tsuki, who was happily shoving frosting inside his ear. "We have a bit of a situation in the dining room."

* * *

End Part Four

Ha ha. Babies and cake are funny. Ah, I'm having so much fun writing this. It's very nice. Incidentally, my son is the 'muse; if you will, for baby Tsuki. He's the same age, and he looks the same. Hooray for young parents! If you want a visual, please follow the link on my author page.

OMG thank you so much for all your awesome reviews! I truly do appreciate each and every one of them, they only make me write faster, I've found. I'm so glad everyone's enjoying the story, and please, if you haven't reviewed, send me one and let me know what you think!

THE LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS HAS GROWN QUITE LARGE!

Copperdrops

Mikanis

JediMasterWithAPen

Allaboutcontests

Lambentness

Honor

Shadows (clever, clever reader, you…you saw right through my plot like a screen door, lol. But I won't say which parts)

LightxL

Kaesaku

Nokturnal Augury (when you said L was like a nanny, I immediately thought MANNY! ROFL)

oztan

Thanks, you guys, you are my super special awesome lovelies!


	5. A Shaky Resolve

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi. Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

000000

I just wanna say that I find this very interesting. As for the people who have reviewed this story, you are divided against each other, lol. About half of you think that Raito is being a huge prick about his son, while the other half of you think that he is justified in that everything was just dumped on him all at once and he's just trying to cope. Just thought I'd share that with you all. Which side are you on?

* * *

L watched Raito carefully as he entered the room, noticing that he was in decidedly better spirits than he had been in days. He didn't doubt that it was due to the fact that Tsuki was miles away from the Kira investigation headquarters, no doubt playing and having a grand time at the daycare. L had researched all of the daycare facilities within 25 miles of headquarters, finally settling on one he had deemed appropriate.

"Good morning, Raito-kun. I notice you are running late this morning."

Raito nodded as he took a seat next to L's, booting up his own computer.

"My father called," he stated simply. L knew that meant he did not wish to speak of the matter further, but L decided that wasn't his problem.

"I see. Is it safe to assume that he wishes to visit with you and Tsuki-tan?"

"I agreed to take him over this weekend." Raito closed his eyes. He could already imagine how that family visit would go, and he preferred not to think about it until it was absolutely necessary.

"Would Raito-kun like for me to attend, as well?" L let his eyes drift over to Raito, who was watching him questioningly. "Perhaps you do not wish to face them alone."

Raito felt the corner of his mouth attempting to turn upward of its own accord. Ever since the arrival of baby Tsuki, L's concern for Raito seemed to have had dried up some. It was nice to know that, in L's own creepy fashion, he still wanted to offer support.

"No, that's all right. I will be fine on my own."

"Very well." L began dropping sugar cubes into his tea, watching them plunk into the cup with fascination. "Please open the message I have sent to your email."

Raito obeyed, finding a rather large file to open. He extracted the contents and found case files, and scrolling down through the folders he thought that perhaps there were over a hundred of them.

"What's this?"

"These are the most current cases that the police have requested my assistance to solve. I am focusing on Japanese police cases right now because our main case is still the Kira investigation, and therefore we must not leave the country at this time. We also cannot choose a case that will take too long to solve, since any day now Kira may strike again, and we will be forced to drop whatever case we choose between that time and now."

"Ryuuzaki…what will happen if Kira just…stops?"

It was a loaded question, and L knew it, but it wasn't one that he had an answer for. The longer this investigation drug on, the longer L was able to keep Raito away from the world, and the shadowy detective hadn't bothered to give much thought to that. He had been avoiding it, for precisely that reason.

"We mustn't think that way, Raito-kun. That would not be like Kira at all. He will continue until he has cleansed the world to his satisfaction, and we must be prepared."

Raito said nothing to that. It hadn't answered his real question, but it had put his mind at ease for the time being.

"In the meantime, please go through the files and choose a satisfactory case to occupy our time."

A short frown briefly flashed across Raito's face. That wasn't right…L should have already chosen one by now, and even if he hadn't, it wasn't something he would normally just leave up to Raito.

"What are you doing, Ryuuzaki?" Raito leaned over his own keyboard and tried to sneak a look at the screen on L's laptop. "Hey! What is that?"

L's mouth turned over slightly into a pout, something that Raito was quite familiar with. It was an involuntary reaction to being caught.

"I assure you, this is quite important. I am researching experimental teaching methods for children, something I plan to use with your son."

L looked up at Raito's face and this time the older man was wearing a very dull version of what might be called an endearing look. Somewhere in the back of Raito's mind he knew L was trying to appeal to his weaker side, which was a dirty tactic in itself since L knew for a fact that Raito only had one for him.

"Anyway," L continued, "he is most likely already far too advanced for this sort of thing, but I am merely using it as a reference. He is very intelli-"

"Fine." Raito cut him off with an abnormally low voice. "I'll pick a case. You do whatever you want." He angrily clicked on the first folder and stared at the screen, unable to read the contents. Why was he so upset? Gritting his teeth together, Raito held his breath for a few moments, wondering what had just happened.

And then L, right on cue in Raito's mind, put his hands on the desktop and swiveled his office chair around so that his knobby knees, white toes and inappropriately innocent face were all directed at him.

"I have said something that upset you."

Raito clicked the mouse loudly.

"…No. I'm doing what you asked me to do."

Keeping his eyes on Raito, L reached over to the desk and somehow was able to select the particular brownie he wanted. He brought it to his face and held it between his mouth and his eyes, hiding his nose from Raito inadvertently.

"I would like to share with you my thoughts on the current situation in Raito's mind."

Raito held back a biting response. He didn't want to hear it at the moment, but L was anything but timed correctly.

"Raito-kun is thinking that I am more interested in Tsuki-tan than I am in him. Raito-kun received all of my spare attention before, as we lived alone, but now a third party has entered the picture, and Raito-kun is not happy."

Raito's fingernails met his palms and he squeezed his fists. It stung a lot more when someone else just threw it into the open like that, especially since he'd been nursing his wounds alone for days.

L brought the brownie to his mouth and bit into it thoughtfully, eyes never leaving Raito. The younger man still refused to return the gaze, keeping his own eyes plastered solidly to his monitor.

"Also…I think that this problem began long before Tsuki-tan even arrived." A few chocolate crumbs rolled down the front of L's shirt as he ate between sentences. "Raito-kun was very patient with me when I was upset about the Kira case."

That statement brought Raito's eyes up momentarily to rest on L's, but he brought them back just as quickly, knowing he wore too much of himself in his face right then.

"It is upsetting to Raito-kun that a stranger should be able to bring me back into good spirits, and not he himself."

The monitor blurred in Raito's vision, and had he been aware of it in the first place, he might have noticed. Something constricted around his gut and then froze over, leaving an icy ring in a place within him that he hadn't known existed. Was that true?

It had to be true. He wouldn't be reacting so strongly to a theory of L's if it hadn't hit home, and hard at that.

Quickly Raito managed to regain control over himself, and he brought his eyes to his computer monitor once more, scanning the case file he'd opened. L was no doubt exposing him for a reason, but he didn't have to play along with it. Idly he wondered what L was getting at. Was he just trying to push all of this into Raito's face because he thought the younger man needed to be made aware? It was harsh, yes, but not so unlike L that he wouldn't have believed it.

"I take it from Raito-kun's silence that he does not deny it."

The apple honey depths of Yagami Raito's eyes dared a second glance at L. The detective was unreadable even to Raito as he sat and stared at the remainder of his brownie. Raito found that he didn't need to dart his eyes away as the older man didn't even seem to remember that Raito was even there. He'd lost himself in thought…or perhaps the brownie.

It looked as though something was unraveling in those wide and glassy black eyes.

"…Ryuuzaki?"

L brought his attention to Raito immediately, the odd moment forgotten already.

"Raito-kun is irreplaceable to me."

The air caught in Raito's throat for a moment upon hearing the strange admission. For a moment he felt as though he were back on that rooftop with L, standing next to him as the torrential rain beat down on them from above. The way that L had spoken to him that day had made him upset, for some unfathomable reason he couldn't seem to place. Now, though, after almost two years had passed since that day, it wasn't upsetting at all.

It was, in fact, the very thing Raito had been waiting to hear. It didn't lift the trouble of Tsuki from his mind, or take away the apprehension that he felt for the undetermined future, but it brought back the sense of home that he had grown accustomed to feeling around L.

"Would you like a brownie, Raito-kun?"

Raito looked at the brownie, and then looked back at L, patiently waiting for a response.

It had been a long while since he'd had something as sweet as that. Perhaps his palate was changing.

"…Please."

* * *

Tsuki hadn't been home for more than an hour, and already Raito could tell that he was nearing the point of madness.

L had sent for toys this time, and Watari had delivered. Right now Tsuki was playing in the main investigation room as L and Raito continued to work into the evening, happy to be actually working and not waiting for work to come to their doorstep. Raito had chosen a case that he and L agreed on, but it was becoming continually harder to concentrate with the noise in the background.

Among the toys that had been chosen was a red plastic train that was nearly as large as Tsuki himself, and the baby had immediately decided that it was his favorite. When Tsuki hit the top of the train, it would begin to move on it's own, rolling across the floor in a very slow, very straight line. When this happened, Tsuki would crawl after it until it stopped, and then hit it again, and the whole mess would begin all over again.

Which would have been fine, were it not for the accompanying song the train played as it rolled.

The song was the same each time. It was a recording of a woman singing in an ecstatic voice about animals. Raito knew how the song went after only an hour of being in the same room as the train.

"Hop on board the animal train, come on, everyone.

Learning about animals is really lots of fun!

Colors, sizes, what they say, if they're fast or slow,

Learning about animals, there's so much to know!"

The train fell silent. Raito could only hope it was for good, but in his mind, he could see Tsuki's chubby little arm coming down towards the train.

Smack.

"Hop on board the animal train…"

Raito looked at L. L returned the stare, wondering what was wrong.

"What is it?"

Raito brought his hands up to rub at his temples.

"That train…"

L peeked behind himself, watching Tsuki crawl after the train.

"It's very catchy. I happen to like it." L gave Raito an expression of intense seriousness. The train started up again in the background, and L face brightened suddenly. "Listen."

"Hop on board the animal train…"

"Yes, Ryuuzaki, I've heard it. It's driving me crazy. Can we please take it out?"

L made a slightly sour face at the thought.

"Raito-kun, it is helping me to think. Please, listen to it again. I am sure you will grow to like it in time."

Smack.

"Hop on board the animal train…"

Tsuki squealed in delight, somewhere in the back of the room. Raito cursed Misa under his breath and hoped that wherever she was, it was very hot. He got up and walked over to the back of the room, snatching the train up and searching it until he found the off switch. Satisfied, he set the train down again and took his seat next to L.

"Raito-kun…that is quite rude." L's mouth was stuffed with strawberries, but Raito could still understand.

"I don't care." Raito resumed his typing, savoring the precious few seconds of silence he'd earned, which he also knew were almost up.

L rose from his chair, as Raito had predicted, and walked back over towards the train. Sheer curiosity brought Raito's eyes to watch as L shuffled across the carpet, dragging the frayed ends of his too-long pant legs behind him. He was nearing the train and had almost passed Tsuki when the baby suddenly noticed his approach and made an urgent noise, throwing his hands up at L.

Tsuki was pleading to be held. And not by Raito, the younger man noticed, since he'd just been over there to shut the damn train off and Tsuki hadn't batted an eye. But for the first time since Tsuki had arrived, he had decided to show favor.

L stopped in his tracks and stood stiffly, caught like a deer in headlights. Raito wondered briefly what his partner was going to do. He'd seen L holding the baby numerous times, but he'd never seen Tsuki make an appeal for physical contact on his own. Raito knew better than to do something like that to L, but Tsuki was only a baby.

As Raito silently watched, he saw L's right foot move, stepping backwards momentarily. Then he stopped again, as if he'd caught himself shying away. L looked back and ensnared Raito's eyes, looking every bit as calm as he always did. Still, Raito could see that too familiar look from earlier.

Then, as if meeting eyes with Raito had torn the caution out of him, L turned back to Tsuki and bent down, taking his own proverbial "seat" on the tips of his toes. He reached out and grabbed Tsuki, standing upright as far as was physically possible after so many years of hunching over.

"Tsuki-tan is very tired. It is time for him to retire."

Raito nodded after L as he left the room. He knew that L would most likely not return to work that evening.

* * *

End Part Five

A bit shorter this time, but I wanted to focus for a moment on L and Raito without so much of the baby. I very much hope that you are still enjoying yourself as you read this, and thank you so much for coming this far with me. There is still quite a bit of story left to cover.

I don't like to go on and on about the story here. I will say that, if you couldn't already tell, I don't like stereotypical romance fics. I like to read them, but I don't like to write them. Writing this, I want to explore the boundaries of love and family. I want to see if I can't find out, by writing this, what could possibly constitute a family, or a lover, or just someone very special to you that you never want to be apart from. I can tell you right now that I don't think that Raito and L are going to fall in love and get married and live happily ever after in a traditional way, at least not in this fic. I like the uncertainty of their interaction, and I want that feeling to remain. Yes, it's gay (obviously), yes they're falling in love, but it's not…cut and dry. I want to walk that thin line a bit further, if you'll allow me the indulgence.

THE LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS IS EVEN LONGER! HOORAY FOR REVIEWS!

LightxL

Kirikouchan (strange baby, doesn't like cake!)

Miklusca ( when I read your review, I laughed so hard I woke up everyone in the house, lol)

JediMasterWtihAPen (you are very correct about certain things, but I can't way which!)

Copperdrops

Buchouslvr

Krissy

Allaboutcontests (thank you!)

Nokturnal Augury

Cheatachu82

Addictedreader09

Accidental Affinity

Oztan ( you'd think, he's just being so stubborn lol)


	6. A Tentative Understanding

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi.

Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to.

* * *

Raito was nearing the edge of sleep when he heard the slightest creak as the door to the bedroom was slowly pushed open. He sat up without thinking about it, the thin summer sheets slipping over his bare chest and revealing the edges of dark blue pajama bottoms around his waist.

He rubbed his eyes at the sudden intrusion of light. A quick glance at the hall revealed the telltale form of L, standing still in the doorway.

"…Ryuuzaki?" Raito's voice was scratchy and he cleared his throat, blinking his eyes numerous times in an attempt to wake himself up. "What's wrong?" The clock on the nightstand told Raito it was only nearing 1 am, far too early for L to try to sleep.

"I cannot think correctly, Raito-kun. I am feeling…out of sorts."

"Oh…" Raito fell back onto his pillow, trying to block out the light from the hallway. "Why don't you try lying down for awhile? Maybe you're just tired."

"Yes…I will try that."

L shut the door behind him, canceling out all the light. Raito's vision went black as his pupils tried to adjust once more to the darkness, but he could still hear L's feet sifting their way through the plush carpet. The side of the bed opposite Raito sank down slightly as L climbed onto the mattress, but he didn't lie down as Raito thought he might. Instead, he balanced himself on his feet, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping both arms around his legs.

Raito watched, barely able to see L's dark form, but he waited as his eyes adjusted until he could see the choppy outlines of his hair against the white walls behind him. L was watching Raito, as well.

"…Ryuuzaki."

A white thumb peeked out of L's baggy sleeve, and it darted up to satiate L's oral fixation.

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

The younger man blinked into the darkness. He hadn't seen L since the detective had abandoned his post earlier in the evening. Ratio had eventually gone to bed, giving up on the case for the night. Something had been on L's mind that day, but Raito-kun wasn't sure if this bizarre behavior was connected that. It was possible, but it was also equally possible that L was just acting strangely, for no reason at all. Still, Raito chose his words carefully.

"…Are you tired?"

The darkness was starting to fade, and Raito was able to see the hollows under L's eyes. Ashen lips played over the milky white skin of his hand, and L did not take his thumb from his mouth to answer.

"I do not believe that I am. However, I have been wrong about this sort of thing before."

Raito decided not to push the matter, He rolled over so that he was lying on his side, facing L, and he closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep, knowing that he wouldn't be able to.

Almost a single minute passed before Raito realized that he was counting the seconds. Hesitantly he peered through the darkness at the last place he'd seen L, and immediately he could tell that he was still being watched. L sat motionless, almost like a ghostly statue, with both wide eyes trained on Raito.

"Ryuuzaki…it's kind of hard to sleep when you're doing that."

L stopped chewing momentarily to respond.

"Raito-kun…" L's massive black pupils lazily drifted up to the ceiling. "I would like for you to wake up now."

Raito opened both of his eyes fully, training his full attention on the hovering face of L.

"If something's bothering you, just tell me." Raito pulled his pillow over and rested his chin on it, twisting so that he was still facing L. "You never come to bed this early."

"No…but I cannot focus on anything. I have been thinking about you too much this evening."

"Are you upset with me?"

"Hmmm…" A low tone emitted from L's throat, and he thought about that for a few moments. "I am upset with myself."

"Why?" That was a new one. Of all the times Raito had guided L through his own mind in search of what was bothering him, it had never once had anything to do with the detective himself.

L's dark eyes averted, and his toes began to curl and uncurl nervously.

"The arrival of Tsuki-tan has brought many things to my attention. Some of these things I would rather not think about, but now I that I am aware of them, I cannot think clearly."

Raito rubbed at his eyes, not having the least idea what L was talking about.

"What is it, Ryuuzaki?"

L did not say anything. Instead of speaking he reached out his hand suddenly, the one that wasn't currently entertaining his mouth. His fingers touched lightly on the auburn strands of hair that fell across Raito's eyes, and then pushed them to the side, revealing more of Raito's face to the dark. His hand didn't move away, playing almost subconsciously with the notion of touching Raito's hair.

And then, Raito understood what was wrong, piecing it all together suddenly in his weary mind. He thought of the way L had reacted earlier, when Tsuki had reached out to him. The way L had shied away at the initiated contact. Truth be told, Raito had been more than surprised when L went out of his way to learn how to correctly hold Tsuki in the first place, thinking it beyond the older man's emotional capabilities.

Raito knew that L did not like that part of himself, the side of him that pushed people away and was afraid to touch or bring things close. L had told him that directly, although it was so long ago that it felt like it had simply been a strange dream that the two of them had shared. But Tsuki was here now, and so that long avoided part of L was brought back into the light.

"Ryuuzaki…does it make you sad?"

L's hand froze on Raito's head, fingertips hidden within the locks. His toes jumped and curled under so tight that they were almost hidden beneath his feet.

"Sad?" The tension in his outstretched hand was clear to Raito, even though he could not see it that well. It was in the air. "Yes, I think so…"

Raito sat up so that he could look at L's face on his own level. L's expression was ever the same, but his other habits told Raito that he was having a good deal of trouble with his own thoughts.

"It's all right to be unhappy with a part of yourself. Everybody has things they don't like about themselves."

L brought his stray hand back to the safety of his legs, but his thumb remained in place at the side of his mouth.

"Does Raito-kun not like a part of himself?"

"Of course. The important thing is, do you not like it so much that you're willing to change it?"

Rocking back and forth on his heels ever so slightly, L stared at the bed beneath them. He thought about that for a long while before looking back to Raito again.

"I would like to change it, with Raito-kun's assistance."

The room had taken on a pallid light of it's own, now that Raito's eyes had fully adjusted to the dark. He thought about what L wanted from him and knew that he would do anything to help him, but a push in the wrong direction could prove devastating at best. Raito hadn't a clue what had happened to L that could have caused him to be this way. Either way, Raito was determined this time to be the one that L went to for help.

"Just…lay down with me for awhile."

Raito laid himself back down on his pillow and motioned for L to do the same. The wide-eyed man watched Raito calmly, but made no move of his own. After a few more motionless seconds passed, Raito sighed mentally, knowing he would have to do everything manually for the time being. He didn't mind as much as he pretended to.

L watched Raito with a fervent interest. Raito reached up and took L's hand out of his mouth, and took his other hand from around his knees and pulled. He released one of the older man's hands so that he could lie down comfortably, but the other one remained held fast in Raito's own hand, even after L was lying down on his pillow.

L's eyes remained on Raito, even after the younger man had fallen fast asleep. L never let go of his hand, regardless of how many times he felt that he should. Instead he held on and squeezed tightly sometimes, and other times let his grip slacken as he realized that Raito was not going to let go, even in sleep. So L let himself doze and dream for the first time in a very long while, and even in his deepest sleep he could still hear those bells, as strongly as he could on that day long ago. He knew that they weren't real at the moment, but the pull was just as strong as it ever was.

* * *

Saturday morning came far too quickly for Raito's tastes. He'd made a promise to his family, and he knew that he'd keep it, but the thought of spending the day not only with them but watching them fawn over Tsuki was one that he'd much rather pass on. And not only that, but he knew his father would have some choice words to say on the matter. His mother would probably keep her mouth shut, but he couldn't say the same for Sayu. No…the whole affair would be as painful as it possibly could.

Raito had awoken to an empty bed, which didn't surprise him at all, but he wondered just how long L had stayed with him that night. It had been a few days since L had come to wake him up, but he'd noticed that the detective's presence had been strong in his sleep consistently ever since that occasion.

Walking lazily out into the kitchen, he found a busy L and baby Tsuki both sitting in front of the television in the living room watching something extremely colorful. All 60 inches of the flat screen television were eaten up by primary colors, and as Raito fumbled around in the kitchen finding himself something to eat, he realized that the two of them must have been watching some sort of children's programming.

Cereal was easy enough, and Raito poured himself a bowl and out of sheer curiosity decided to take it into the living room. He sat down quietly on the couch behind L and Tsuki and tried to figure out what the hell they were doing.

Tsuki sat on the carpet mere feet from the television, and L "sat" next to him, balancing himself on his feet with his knees pulled up to his chest. His hands, however, were in various stages of extension, as were the baby's.

Raito had no idea what they were watching, but it was clearly meant for children around Tsuki's age. Idly he noticed that Tsuki was having a wonderful time watching the show and playing along with the instructions the people on the show gave to he and L. L himself seemed to be having a pretty good time, as well, and together the two of them put on quite the morning show for Raito.

"Put your arms in the air!" the show demanded. Tsuki lifted his little arms up, and L threw his arms straight up in the air over his head. The both of them held that position until the next order was given.

"Now bring them back down!" Tsuki's arms fell, and L's arms wrapped themselves around his knees. Raito had to chuckle inwardly, not wanting to interrupt L in what looked to be a very important activity.

"Show me your right hand!" L immediately put his right palm in the air, facing the television. Tsuki watched L and then mimicked his actions, lifting up his left arm first but then quickly correcting himself.

"Wave your right hand!" The voice on the show was that of a woman who evidently thought that this series of instructions were no doubt the most exciting thing ever recorded. L's right hand waved robotically at the screen, while the baby simply opened and closed his fingers.

"Now make a big smile!" Raito paused, for once very glad that he was facing L's back and therefore unable to see his contribution to this demand. If L was indeed capable of making a big smile, Raito wanted nothing to do with it. The baby seemed to have forgotten about the song entirely, and was now watching L's face with a suspicious eye, as though they'd suddenly never met before.

The spoon Raito was eating with accidentally smacked the side of his glass bowl, and both the baby and L turned towards the sound.

Raito smirked from his place on the couch.

"What? Continue…"

L stood up and faced Raito looking every bit as though he hadn't been doing the strangest thing Raito had ever seen him do. Raito knew that L probably hadn't even noticed it was odd.

"Raito-kun…I understand you are to take Tsuki-tan to your parents house this morning."

"That was the plan, yes."

L nodded.

"Watari is out at the moment running an errand for me, but he will be back shortly. In the meantime, you will need this." He reached behind the couch and pulled out the diaper bag, handing it to Raito.

"Oh, should I take this with me?" Raito opened the bag and dug through it, taking note of everything inside. An extra outfit, extra diapers, formula, clean bottle…

"Yes, that, and…I believe that Tsuki-tan will need his diaper changed before you leave. Everything is in that bag."

L made a move to leave the dining room in a hurry, but Raito jumped up off the couch and stepped in his way.

"Whoa, I don't think so. Why can't you do it all of a sudden?"

L's dark eyes peered out from behind his messy front locks.

"Raito-kun, would it be safe to assume that your parents believe that it is you who have been taking care of Tsuki all this time? I think that Raito-kun should practice before he goes."

Raito watched L carefully, seeing more information hidden in those strained eyes.

"And…?" he pressed.

The corner of L's mouth twitched involuntarily.

"And…I don't know how."

"What?" Raito blinked several times, trying to wrap his mind around the situation. "If you don't know how then…how? How has he kept a clean diaper all this time?"

L bit his bottom lip.

"Watari…" he said, giving Raito a shy stare.

"Watari…you've been making him do all your dirty work for you?" Raito had a strong urge to laugh out loud, but instead he let a wry smile escape his lips and nothing more.

"Raito-kun, I always have. Please attend to the baby while I eat my breakfast." L slunk off about 20 feet away into the dining room, surveying the dessert layout Watari had left waiting for him.

Shutting off the television, Raito grabbed the baby and slung the bag over his shoulder, deciding to change him in Tsuki's own room. Raito knew there was a changing table, which would make the whole job much easier. He wasn't sure where he'd learned to change a diaper, but he was aware of all the necessary details to the task, and for that he was glad. It wasn't the sort of thing you'd want to have to guess at.

He wasn't too far into the job when Tsuki began to do something very odd with his hand, over and over again. Raito watched him carefully as he attached the two Velcro tabs to the front panel of the new, clean diaper and redressed Tsuki.

"What are you doing?" he asked, not expecting to find out nor caring whether he did or not.

Tsuki repeated his action over and over again, confusing Raito even further. Sitting him up on the changing table, he stepped back a foot or so and stared, realization dawning on him all of a sudden.

Sign language. Raito knew a bit of sign language, enough to know that that was exactly what his son was doing. That did not bode well for Raito's visit to his parent's house at all, considering that his mother was the one who had taught it to him in the first place. His mother loved sign language, and had tried to pass down her passion for the art to her son, but Raito was not interested enough to master it. He did, however, know enough to see that Tsuki's repetitive forehead tapping with his open hand meant, "father".

Raito narrowed his eyes at Tsuki. This was no cute gesture…this was a warning.

"Ryuuzaki!" Raito called out through the open bedroom door.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" L didn't bother getting up from his breakfast, and instead yelled his response.

"Does this kid know sign language?"

Silence. Raito waited impatiently, and each second that passed spelled almost certain disaster in his mind. He thought that perhaps the gesture was innocent enough, maybe even cute if Raito were inclined to think that way (which he wasn't), but something inside of him burned with the knowledge that this was his child, and his child would not flaunt his intelligence so easily to someone who didn't care about him at all. There had to be some sort of reason. Tsuki was not in the habit of acknowledging Raito's existence, let alone calling him father.

L's voice finally drifted in from the dining room.

"…Why?"

Exhaling through his nose in disgust, Raito took that for the answer that it was. He shut the door to the bedroom, closing himself in with the baby.

"All right, I don't know how much of this you can understand, but while we're at my parent's house, you can't let them know how I've been acting."

Raito felt incredibly stupid, talking to a baby as though it could understand him. There was only a small percentage that this baby knew what he was saying, but if a week with L could do anything, Raito couldn't deny that it was possible.

"Are you listening to me? You need to act like I've been the one taking care of you. Understand?"

Tsuki regarded Raito with an uninterested gaze, something that Raito instantly recognized as his own. Seeing his own snotty expression on someone else made his left eye twitch, and he hoped it only looked immature on Tsuki since he was a baby. To top it off, he knew exactly what that look meant, and it infuriated him to be forced to deal with himself in such a way.

For Yagami Raito would never stand to be ordered to do anything. 'No…never', he thought to himself. 'But I would negotiate.'

Raito folded his arms against his chest, considering his options. The last thing he needed at this point was Tsuki making things more tense with his family than they already were. His communications with his father over the phone had been strained at best, and if Tsuki did something drastic like signing H-E-L-P M-E or something equally ridiculous, Raito wouldn't know how to deal with it.

The emotions he'd felt at the doctor's visit came rushing back, and that familiar and hated feeling of failure was gnawing at the back of his skull. He couldn't help but notice the very tiny part of him that declared this a win for Tsuki's cause, but Raito wasn't entirely sure about what that cause might be.

"…What do you want from me?"

Tsuki watched Raito coolly, and Raito noticed that the baby was watching his lips move. Interesting…Raito tried again, speaking slowly and enunciating properly.

"What do you want?"

The baby brought his open right hand to his face and tapped his chin a few times with his extended thumb.

Mother.

Stunned, Raito could do nothing but stare. In all of the things that had happened over the past week, not once had Tsuki cried, but that didn't strip him of feeling. Of course that would be what he wanted. He was waiting for someone to hand him back to his mother. Raito thought that perhaps Tsuki thought all of this just a vacation, and now he was ready to go back home.

Raito didn't doubt that L had taught the baby who his mother and father was. Raito was easy enough to learn since he was always around, but L probably had a picture of Misa in his computer from the Kira investigation that he must have used to teach Tsuki this particular sign. So Tsuki thought that since Raito was 'father', then he must know something about the whereabouts of 'mother'.

And Raito felt very bad, because he didn't have an answer. Regardless of whose child this was, he didn't want to have to deliver that sort of truth to anyone's child. He also felt something that was strangely similar to regret. Whether it was regret for accidentally creating the child in the first place, or simply because he'd decided he didn't have anything to do with him, Raito couldn't say, but he wanted to shake the feeling immediately.

"I don't know where she is," he lied. It wasn't exactly a lie, Raito had never claimed to know anything about what happened to people after they left this world, but he felt sharing his personal opinion at the moment would be a bit harsh, even if he knew it was outside the limits of Tsuki's understanding.

"Look…let's make a deal."

Tsuki said nothing. He watched quietly and waited for Raito to elaborate.

"You act like nothing's wrong in front of my parents. Okay? Pretend like I've been taking care of you like L."

Tsuki's eyes brightened and he laughed, a short baby giggle. His tiny right hand moved and he lifted his arm a bit, extending his thumb and forefinger.

L

Raito felt his eyes darken. This kid and L…it ached in several different ways, none of which Raito wanted to lend any thought to.

"Yes, like L. And in exchange, I'll…I will stop ignoring you."

The baby appeared to consider the proposition.

"Ba." Tsuki raised his arms in the air as a peace offering. Raito picked him up and grabbed the diaper bag, opening the bedroom door. He hoped Watari was back by now, because he wanted nothing more than to just get this visit over with.

* * *

End Part Six

L cracks me up so hard. I love him to little bits and pieces, perhaps so much as to be unhealthy.

My updates are not quite as often since I am no longer sick, but I am still hard at work and still enjoying the writing experience.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! A few people have apologized for the lengthiness of some of them, but I love hearing about what you think! Your reviews have made me so happy, thank you so much for all of them. Please prepare yourself for…

THE VERY LONG LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS!!!!

Reichtwix

Basil-Ovelby (thank you so much!)

Shin-Ora (If you ever have another sudden urge to clean, you are welcome in my apartment lol)

Shadows (The beauty of their relationship is in their complications – Exactly! Thank you so much!)

Copperdrops (I've found the manga you recommended, it is currently on my hard drive just dying to be read – thank you so much)

Nadeschka (I understand, thank you very much!)

Anon

Nokturnal Augury (I believe I deserve the L hug, and therefore am also quite jealous lol!)

LightxL (I'm glad you noticed the brownie thing, it was something I felt was so beautiful but really subtle. Thank you!)

Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan (I plan on exploring the Kira part of Raito eventually, as well as the memory lapse, but there will not be any other characters introduced into the main story line such as Matt or Mello or Near. I've taken a pretty hard left turn with the canon story and I secretly don't like the rest of the manga anyway, so I'm focusing on this little non-family)

JediMasterWithAPen (More Light with Tsuki on the way!)

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Troll Logic

Thanks to everyone, see you soon!


	7. A Dark Future

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi.

Slightly AU, only because half of the stuff in the manga ain't never gonna happen in here. But you won't want it to

I thin that some people were confused by the interaction between Tsuki and Raito in the last chapter. No worries, here's my input. Firstly, baby sign language is something I've used and most definitely taught before the child is old enough to speak, usually starting around 6 months old. The purpose behind that being to help a child who cannot effectively communicate in words and give them an outlet to show what they want, are feeling, ect.

And it will become clearer later, but Raito's guilt is somewhat stringing him along as far as how much the baby is understanding versus how much Raito thinks he is understanding. Hope that helps!

* * *

The unused bedrooms on L and Raito's floor were empty. Most buildings that were on the scale of the Kira investigation headquarters would at the very least keep empty rooms as guest rooms or fill them with furniture, but L had no use for such formalities. Each and every room that was unused was kept completely desolate. L preferred this, although he did not know why.

He was currently crouched in the stark white corner of one of these rooms. Perfectly perched on his feet, he sunk his toes again and again into the soft ivory carpet, his back almost pressed against the corner of the room, facing outwards into the open space. In front of him lay a locked briefcase on its side, placed about a foot from where he sat.

His eyes were stuck to the briefcase, its black color marring the steady unspoiled white that surrounded him on all sides. L thought about what was inside, already having a very good idea, but not wanting to open it and find out just yet.

Raito was at his parent's house. Watari had taken Raito and Tsuki in the car not more than half an hour ago, and now that enough time had passed since their departure L deemed that it was safe to continue with his private investigation.

Before taking Raito and Tsuki, Watari had left the briefcase with L. The detective had been waiting all week for this moment, but now that it was here, he was having second thoughts about the request he'd made. Still, he would never have been able to rest if he hadn't asked, finding it quite impossible to keep himself from digging even deeper into a hole he already knew he was far too lost within to ever be able to pull himself out.

His right shoulder twitched. He needed to work.

L dug his hand into his back pocket, pulling out two pairs of chopsticks and a folded up piece of paper. It wasn't the most technical of plans, but if he was correct in his theory, he might be able to avoid the unpleasantness from the last time he had come into contact with such otherworldly subject matter.

Nimble fingers separated the folds in the paper, and he revealed a numerical code, one that he assumed would open the briefcase before him.

09…17…26…03

Snap. The metal locks clicked open, and L narrowed his midnight eyes as he lifted the lid.

"Hmmm…"

He reached out with the chopsticks and carefully plucked the sealed white envelope from the briefcase, taking it into his hands once it was close enough to touch. Ripping it open quickly, he pulled out the single page, noticing it was handwritten. That was strange, coming from the NYPD, but it only put L's mind more at ease as he realized that there were probably very few people who were aware that this transaction had taken place.

000000000

L,

Here is the item you requested. It was found amongst the belongings of Amane Misa as you said it would be, but the police report will show that no such item was found. Your silence on this matter is appreciated, as per our agreement. Kira was never in America.

Thank you.

000000000

L slipped the letter back into its torn envelope, folded it up, and shoved it into his now empty back pocket. It wasn't signed…he thought that was quite appropriate, given the source. It didn't matter. He had been correct, at least on the account of Misa. As for Raito, well…that remained to be seen.

The black notebook loomed at L from within the briefcase. A chill threatened to knock him from his feet as it ran down his spine. It wasn't the notebook itself, or what it could do to people that frightened L. It was what it could do to him, to Tsuki…to Raito.

The very last thing he wanted was to see whomever it was that was behind the forbidden power of the book. L knew for a fact that touching the book directly would not only make him aware of the Shinigami who followed it, but it could possibly deem him the rightful owner, especially since it's assumed previous owner was now dead.

L's mind flashed like lightening over the details that had brought him this far. Misa's hidden pregnancy stuck out to him over all the others. It was incredibly uncharacteristic of her, no matter which way he looked at it. He'd told Raito on the morning they'd received the baby that he thought she had hidden it from him so as not to put undue pressure on Raito. That was a valid theory, yes, but it was also quite unlike Misa. Misa, who had pushed and pushed at L to let Raito take her out without the handcuffed detective trailing after them. Misa, who nagged and called Raito at every turn, begging for his attention. No…this made much more sense.

In a way. It made sense in a way…but in other ways it threw L's mind into a whirlwind of possibilities. Misa was Kira, or at least a Kira, one of the Kiras. Did there have to be another?

Yes. L was sure of that. But this puzzle, however fascinating and deadly, was missing far too many pieces for L to come to a clear decision. He decided that it was time to test his assumptions about the notebook's physical rules of contact.

Picking up one of the sets of chopsticks, L sighed heavily as he positioned them between his fingers. He would be quite upset if he were wrong, but having this notebook and not being to look inside and see the truth would kill him faster than any of the sweets that Raito-kun was so heavily against.

L found that the corners of his mouth were turning up. Raito-kun would not like it very much if he were to come home and find L at this dangerous game. L found that thought appealing, and he wondered what might happen if Raito-kun were to come in right now, regardless of how impossible the scenario was. Would Raito-kun try to stop him? Would he insist on testing the book himself?

Losing himself in thought, L clacked the ends of the sticks together with apprehension. Yes, Raito-kun. Raito-kun would be most upset that L was undertaking this task alone. Such a thought was a good thing to think as he leaned forward.

L stuck the chopsticks out suddenly and tapped the front of the Death Note, pulling them back just as quickly. He looked all around himself without moving his head, his eyes flying first up and down, then back and forth. He counted to approximately 33. He listened, and hearing nothing, he tapped the chopsticks together exactly 14 times.

Nothing happened. No spectral shadows came forth, no ungodly monsters revealed themselves.

Feeling much braver, L reached out again and this time pressed the tips of the chopsticks to the cover of the notebook, holding them there.

His thumb worked it's way up to his mouth and slipped between his lips. His nervous tension was dissipating as the seconds ticked by and still nothing had happened. His thoughts drifted through his mind more freely.

'Gloves will not work the same. These will work for now. It's something I would not like to touch. 9. 10. 11. 12. Nothing. No Shinigami. Strawberries. 14. What about gloves? No, it's too risky. Is it long enough? No, give it more time. 9:45 am. Ratio-kun left. Approximately 10:21 am. 21. 22. 23. No Shinigami. 33. Long enough.'

L frowned, lifting the chopsticks away from the book. His theory had been correct, or so he understood from his test. Now came the real investigation.

He picked up the second set of chopsticks and hovered over the book like a crow with its wings extended, waiting to strike. Two sets of chopsticks gripped the front of the notebook by its edges and slowly opened it to the first page.

This was indeed a different notebook than the one they had confiscated from Higuchi. Already L could tell that the names were different, and so he confirmed in his mind for certain that there was indeed more than one of these in the world. Perhaps there were even more than this. L hoped that was not the case, but he thought that the chance of there being any other Kiras hiding out after almost three long months of silence was roughly 13 percent. Kiras did not wait.

But this Kira had. Judging from the information that L already knew, Misa had stopped allegedly using this notebook approximately two months and one week before her death. That left two whole months of…what? L did not know.

Using the chopsticks, L flipped though page after page, filled to the edges with names. He wasn't interested in that right now. What he wanted to see was the last page anyone had ever used in this particular notebook.

He found it after a few more minutes of careful flipping. The last page that had been used wasn't too far into the book, and L judged that at least 73 percent of the book had remained untouched. Misa's handwriting stood out to L strongly, having kept a sample of her writing in his laptop for further investigative purposes. He flipped back a few pages and inspected the entries that L was positive were hers.

It seemed that Misa was very personal in her writings, even in the Death Note. She added adjectives and descriptive words here and there that L knew for a fact weren't necessary, but also knew that it was very much like Misa. He stopped at a page just a few shy of the last one and read one of the entries aloud to himself.

"Ugly Jason Moss, ewww"

She hadn't described his method of demise, so L assumed that ugly Jason Moss ewww had been an American criminal who had died of a heart attack. He skimmed down, trying to find one where she had actually given the details of a victim's death.

"Carol Cleveland, drowns in her own bathtub cause of that thing she did I saw on that show. January 10th. 4:45 pm"

Ah, Misa-Misa-chan…L had to admit that he was sorry she was gone. It was most unfortunate that his suspicions had been accurate, regardless of how he'd been proven wrong time and time again. But this also granted him more leeway for his memory theory…if she had given up her memory in order to get out of captivity, then it was possible to get it back. No, it was evident.

And if it truly was possible to lose your memory…

"Hmmm…" Raito-kun did not remember the reason he had slept with Misa. It seemed that he hardly even remembered doing such a thing.

But there was no doubt in L's mind that Yagami Raito was Raito-kun. He was not Kira. But it was possible, probable even, that he had been at one time. Was Kira akin to something like possession? L wondered if it was possible that ownership of the Death Note induced an altered sense of reality. If that was the case, were there any guilty parties besides the Death Note itself?

"This is wishful thinking." L reprimanded himself out loud, thinking that perhaps he was trying to find a way out for himself that involved taking Yagami Raito along with him. And then there was the matter of Tsuki.

'No', he thought. 'Wise to find out everything, not making decisions today. Need more time, more information, possibly watermelon…no, chocolate.'

L flipped back to the last marked page in the notebook. There were only two entries.

"Amane Misa, shot to death by mean stalker guy. May 1st. 3:00 am"

L twisted his mouth, letting the invisible fingers of his mind feel around that sentence for a few moments. Mean stalker guy…the adjective would imply that Misa knew this man, whomever he was. L wasn't sure why Misa had decided to end her life, but he was inclined to think that she chose this particular death purposely.

"Michael Sullivan. Breaks into Amane Misa's apartment again and shoots her to death. He doesn't notice the baby, and then after Misa is dead, he shoots himself to death. May 1st. 3:04 am."

Again. That was the only word that irked L about the entire affair. Something had most definitely happened between these two, but as to what…L brought one of the chopsticks to his mouth and chewed on the tip.

'Amane Misa. Dead. Suicide. Killed one Michael Sullivan in the process…purposely. Approximately…2 months and 1 week after the Kira judgments cease. February…19th.'

February 19th…L had no way to find out what had happened, but he knew that he was right. There wasn't any way left to find out, as both parties were dead. However, Misa had stopped calling Raito-kun long before February. In fact, if L's suspicions were correct, Misa had not had any contact with anyone in Japan since the previous year. Just a month or two after Tsuki had been born.

What part of this mattered? L flipped the notebook shut with a flick of the chopsticks, and he closed the briefcase and relocked it.

Amane Misa. Kira. 100 percent.

L tapped on the side of the briefcase, eyes shadowed with heavy thought. This was most unpleasant.

Yagami Raito. Kira. 89 percent.

Amane Tsuki. Future Kira. 89 percent.

Pregnancy was never a sure thing, but perhaps Yagami Raito as Kira thought that if Misa were carrying his baby, then he would have more of a hold over her even though she was in another country. But even so, Misa wouldn't just give up on life, on Kira, Raito or Tsuki. She wasn't especially weak, but there was always the possibility that giving birth to a child had altered her perception somehow.

There was little else L could do with the information he had. Nothing was especially damning, for his cause or against it. But he had a few questions for Raito-kun, although he would not reveal anything he'd found out today. No…if there was any chance to kill Kira once and for all while sparing Yagami Raito, L would have to play his hand quite carefully.

This demon had to be purged. No amount of punishment or death penalties could rid the world of something so fleeting that it could disappear from the owner's mind at a moment's notice. No…something like that would not steal away what he'd found.

L stood up suddenly and grasped the handle of the briefcase. Raito-kun was not due back for quite some time, but there was no room for fault. He entered the elevator and scanned the rows of numbered buttons, finally deciding on 14. The 14th floor was just the same as any other, and L knew that no one had even been there since the finished construction of the headquarters itself.

The elevator beeped and the doors separated, leaving L all alone on a most lonely floor. There was nothing at all to separate one room from the next; no furniture, no personal effects, nothing at all that could make it any different from any of the other floors. As L wandered aimlessly he noticed, after walking through the large floor plan, that all of the bedroom doors were shut.

L stared down a pristine white hallway. Three closed doors were on his left, and two to the right. L looked back and forth, gripping the handle to the briefcase tightly. He chose the 2nd door on the left. Opening the door, he noticed that he could faintly smell the acrid scent of paint lingering in the stale air. No one had ever been here.

He left the briefcase in the middle of the barren room, shutting the door once more and returning to the elevator. The further away he walked from the Death Note, the heavier the weight on his shoulders became. L thought that perhaps he would live to see the end of this, after all. But if Raito-kun chose Kira instead of Yagami Raito…no. L would not like to live to see that.

L took his phone from his pocket once he was inside the elevator.

"Watari…please contact the NYPD again. Request the autopsy report for Amane Misa."

* * *

This one's a little shorter, but that's a crapload of information, lol. My spellchecker wants me to change crapload to carload. Haha.

Thanks for reading, and thank you so so so so much for all the wonderful reviews! I appreciate them so much! I love to hear everyone's take on the plot and whatnot, so please review and tell me what you think!

THE LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS GROWS EVER LONGER!!

Crystal (thank you very much! Oh, -tan is a childish way of saying –chan. Lol, my son eats cheerios like crazy, and he has been since 9 months, he's 11 months now.)

Shin-Ora (lol, Watari is a dream husband!)

Pascale

Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan

Oztan

Kirikouchan

Kiyoiyuki

Troll Logic

Accidental Affinity

LawliPop (best penname ever! Super special awesome secret – Tsuki only knows 4 signs, lol.)

JediMasterWithAPen

Nokturnal Augury (busted, lol! I'll take all the hugs ur offering )

Expo (thank you! I'm glad your having fun!)

LightxL (L's dance routine FTW! I laughed hella hard!)

Milk0bar (Thank you! That really really means a lot to me, cause L is incredibly important in my mental landscape and I really love him the way he is, wouldn't change him a bit, even for a fanfic.)

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MAN you guys are the aesomeness! Thank you so much!


	8. A Hidden Trap

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi.

And now, it's really AU, due to some inaccuracies pertaining to the Death Note. Please just roll with me on this one…it's going somewhere lol.

* * *

Raito checked his watch again for the 57th time. He had only been visiting with his family for forty-five minutes and already he was trying to think of valid reasons to leave.

Sayu was home, and of course his mother and father were there, as well. His father was still considered on call by L for the remainder of the Kira investigation, so for the time being he was, for lack of a better description, out of work. L still provided full time pay and benefits, so no one was complaining, but it was certainly strange to see his father relaxing with the rest of the family. In casual attire, no less, and sans corporate suit.

The tension in the air was palpable. Everyone in the family had expressed their condolences for the death of Amane Misa within the first five minutes of Raito and Tsuki's arrival, but the topic of Tsuki's conception was avoided like the plague.

Of course, everyone had something to say about Tsuki himself, who Raito had to admit was very much the social butterfly, even if Raito knew that it was fake. The baby that he had brought over from L's private headquarters was not at all the same child he was witnessing here, interacting with his family. Tsuki, the Tsuki that Raito was familiar with, was rather aloof and quiet, and not at all interested in gaining the attentions or affections of others, except for L on the rare occasion. Tsuki was very much like himself, Raito thought, in that he was very independent and didn't cry out for attention.

But this baby…this was a completely different child. Raito thought that he was perhaps on good behavior since he was with strangers, but another, more suspicious side of him thought that maybe he really had understood at least some of Raito had been saying to him before they left.

There was no way for Raito to be sure, but he eyed Tsuki warily as the baby reached out for Raito to be held for the second or third time that morning. That was…unnatural.

"Onii-chan, Tsuki likes you so much!" Sayu exclaimed as Tsuki tried to escape from her grasp. She changed her holding position but kept him to herself. "But you must be having a hard time in college since you have to take care of him!"

"Ah, that's true, Raito! How in the world are you managing that?" Raito's mother eyed her son worriedly.

Raito bit his lip and glanced at his father for a brief moment. In all his time living with L it had slipped his mind that, to his family, he was still attending college.

"Well, I'm still doing well in school. Tsuki goes to daycare all day."

Sayu didn't appear to be convinced, and Raito mentally glared at her, wishing she would drop the matter.

"But that's expensive, isn't it? How can you afford it?"

Raito's father raised his hand at Raito's little sister.

"Sayu, I'm sure he's managing. Don't pick on your brother."

"I'm not, I was just wondering…" Say mumbled to herself, looking dejected.

"Everything's fine, Sayu, don't worry so much about me." Raito flashed his "perfect and supportive brother" smile at Sayu, and she visibly brightened.

"Well, I miss you, that's all!" She stood up gave the baby to her mother, giving Raito a long hug. "I've got to get going, though. I'm meeting someone in a little bit." Grabbing her purse, she gave Raito one last long look at the front door. "Bye, Raito. Don't stay away for so long next time!"

"I won't."

Smiling vibrantly, Sayu waved goodbye to Tsuki before closing the door behind her.

"That girl is never home anymore!" Raito's mother shook her head, standing up with the baby. "Tsuki must be hungry by now, Raito. Where is his bottle?"

Raito handed her the diaper bag, and she took it with her into the kitchen, leaving Raito all alone with his father.

Raito felt his shoulders tense completely on their own. He'd known this was coming, he just hadn't known when. The elder Yagami sat opposite Raito across the kitchen table, and he placed his hands in front of him and clasped his fingers.

"Raito…how are you doing?"

Raito glanced up and saw that his father was eyeing him carefully. He shrugged his shoulders casually, feigning innocence.

"Everything's going fine. Really."

Raito's father said nothing at first, appearing to mull over that before responding.

"Everything at home is still the same?" The look in Souichiro's eyes indicated he meant to ask about L and the investigation.

Raito chose his words carefully, knowing that his mother wasn't too far away.

"Nothing's changed. I'll be sure to call you if I need anything."

His father nodded, sitting up farther in his chair.

"Tsuki is a very cute baby."

A tone was in his father's voice that Raito had never heard before. Raito nodded, feeling that something was coming. He had never heard his father's opinion on the situation, and he honestly didn't care to. Raito neither sought nor avoided his father's approval, but there wasn't much approval to be had in unpleasant circumstances such as the one he found himself in the middle of.

"Yeah…he's something, anyway." Raito offered up a sheepish grin, but his father didn't seem to buy it.

"Raito…how much of this situation were you aware of, really?"

'And so it begins,' Raito thought to himself, keeping his face still and unmarked with emotions.

"Honestly, I had no idea."

"I see…" Souichiro looked back into the kitchen, checking on Raito's mother. She was still feeding Tsuki in the kitchen, and seeing this he settled back into the seat of his chair and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"You know, Raito…your mother and I had decided not to have any children when got married. You were not exactly planned."

Raito sat in silence, gauging the situation. This was new information.

"But no matter how I felt about it at first, I wouldn't take any of it back. After you got older, I actually missed having a baby around the house. So, your mother and I decided to have Sayu."

For some strange reason, the confession actually triggered an unreasonable bout of anger within Raito, but he kept it in check and listened to his father speak. He'd been expecting a reprimand at best, maybe even a 'what are you going to do with your life' speech, but encouragement? Raito knew he could get plenty of that at home with his partner.

"What I want you to know is that we're here for you, your mother and I. Sayu too, of course. I know that your situation is somewhat different than you expected, but don't let yourself think that this is just an obstacle for you to overcome. I know how you are…just remember that your life is Tsuki's life. He isn't something you can figure out or work around…you and he are part of the same thing."

"I will." Raito gave his father a serious expression, trying to give the impression that he was taking his father's words to heart. He listened, he understood his father's standpoint and knew that it made sense, he just…he wasn't even sure what he was thinking.

And Raito knew very well just how stubborn he was acting, and he had known it all along. But also knew how he was supposed to be feeling, and he knew for a fact that those feelings were somehow eluding him. He was supposed to think Tsuki was the cutest damn baby in the whole world, and he was supposed to be concerned. He was supposed to feel as though he'd do anything for his son. He was supposed to feel exactly what his father was feeling, what his father had felt all of Raito's life.

Raito did not feel that Tsuki and he were part of the same thing. Worse, he felt that they were strangers, that Tsuki was somebody who had just shown up right in the middle of his life and stolen away L's attention and focus. That thought only pushed the bitter bile farther up into his throat. Raito had liked the way things had been, with just the two of them.

And even without L in the picture, Raito's father had been given 9 months to get used to the idea, to prepare himself and his life. Raito had been given nothing. Misa had hidden the entire thing from him, and more and more after her death Raito found himself hating her. What the hell was her problem? Why would she do this to him?

No, Raito didn't care whether anyone else approved or not, because Raito didn't approve. And that was simply the end of it.

* * *

Watari had laid the table with such an array of food and sweets that L wasn't even sure where he ought to begin. He must have known that L was feeling a bit down after his notebook investigation. It all looked so…so….

The dining room table was nearly 12 feet wide and 6 feet across, and L's lunch took up nearly two-thirds of the available space. Haunting white and black eyes surveyed the display with an air of approval that was laced with an ecstatic thrill only Raito would have been able to detect.

To his right sat a large platter of cut fruit, and L saw pink watermelon, cantaloupe, ruby red strawberries and vibrant pineapple arranged and stacked high, sprinkled with dark crimson cherries here and there.

Sitting just in front of the fruit was a large clear crystal bowl, filled to the brim with little golden wrapped candies that L knew from years of experience were peanut butter cups.

L looked over to his left.

Just next to his arm was a large pink cardboard box, the lid already opened wide. Stacked precariously to the top was a wide assortment of doughnuts, and L stuck his finger into the stack and shifted them around, checking to be sure that all of his favorites were inside. Maple bars, chocolate with nuts, pink frosted rings, all of them were there.

Beyond the baked goods stood two large boxes of L's favorite cookie, Hello Panda, in both vanilla and chocolate.

L smiled.

Really…it was only 89 percent…right?

He frowned at the display, momentarily losing his anticipation for the impending sugar rush. Raito-kun would be quite upset if he knew L was about to overindulge. But really, he couldn't help it. And since when had the possibility of Raito being Kira bothered him this much? He had always suspected, however unenthusiastically, but the sheer amount of doubt in his innocence had never been so high before.

L thought about the night he had woken Raito up. Raito-kun had touched him then, and no matter how innocent and brief, it hadn't been the touch of Kira. L was almost positive of that. Perhaps the percentage needed rethinking.

No, not rethinking. Rearranging. The possibility of Raito-kun having been a Kira once was 89 percent. But the possibility of Raito-kun being a Kira at the moment was not more than 2, no…the same as it ever was. The same as it had been before L had received the notebook. 0.67 percent. That fact still remained.

"So, then," L said aloud to the box of doughnuts, "Nothing's changed, has it?"

Nothing had changed. But L knew that even if he never revealed the notebook to Raito-kun, if he never solved the case…

That wasn't an option. The only thing that mattered now was how to solve the case in a manner that would not sacrifice the life of Yagami Raito, if such a thing were possible. L had never had a reason to doubt himself before, but if ever there would come a time, he knew it would likely be soon. He had never set a trap of this magnitude before, but he was sure that there was a way. All he needed was more information, and more time.

Yes, time. Time was the most important element to this procedure. It wasn't as though anyone could become Kira for the time being. Both notebooks were in his possession, and L had alerted Watari to the location of Misa's notebook. It was now under surveillance, although L couldn't help but feel that was an over measure. Still, better that way then to lose.

A good deal of secrecy would be necessary, as well. He had to obtain information slowly, in a way that would not alert Raito-kun to the situation.

L tapped his finger against the sensitive skin of his lips, carefully considering his predicament. Raito-kun was no longer a pawn to be used in the capture of Kira. L wondered when that had happened, when the idea of Raito-kun had taken a different form in his mind. Perhaps it was the moment he realized (and blurted out unnecessarily) that Raito-kun was his first true friend.

No, that wasn't it. It was somewhere past that, in between the first time they had touched, and the last, just days ago. At some point in that long span of time, Raito-kun had become something…strange. Not in reality, but in L's mental landscape.

"Hmmm…" L watched the table full of food, not quite ready to taste it just yet. True, in all his years on earth he had only sought physical contact from Raito-kun alone. Was it solely due to the fact that they had lived together for so long? L had lived with Watari for much longer, and he had never…

No. L shook his head, shaking off a small shudder. No, the way he felt about Raito-kun was most definitely different from the way he felt about anyone else…especially Watari.

Mentally escaping from the notion, L once again turned his full attention to the sugar-laden dream before him.

L had vowed to win against Kira, no matter what. And no matter what the circumstances, L had never lost. And he didn't mean to lose, in any sense of the word. In fact, he meant to win in his own way. On his terms.

Reaching out to the large pink box, L wrapped his wiry fingers around a huge maple bar covered in sprinkles. Oh, he would enjoy this. There was no one to stop him, either.

His front teeth had just penetrated the layer of creamy icing when he heard footsteps approaching behind him.

"So, this is what you do every time I leave the building? Put yourself into a diabetic coma?"

L exhaled around his bite before tearing into it wholly.

"Raito-kun," he said around his mouthful, "this is the first time you've left in a great while. You cannot blame me for trying."

"Uh-huh…" Raito sat down next to L and surveyed the sheer amount of it all, shifting Tsuki around in his arms so that he could sit at the table. "Are you planning on eating all of that?"

"I was planning on being alone, if that's what you mean." L shoved the rest of the doughnut into his mouth as an act of defiance. He allowed Raito to watch, taking a sick sort of pleasure in watching him cringe.

"That's disgusting…I don't know how you've managed to keep all of your teeth."

"Ba!" Tsuki interrupted. Both Raito and L looked at the baby, still clinging to Raito's side.

"My apologies, Tsuki-tan. Candy?" L reached out and took one of the peanut butter cups in his fingers, unwrapping it with a smooth, practiced precision. He held it in front of his face, just within reach of Tsuki's grasp.

Tsuki reached out with a huge grin on his face, both arms stretching out to L. He tried to worm his way out of his father's grasp, but Raito held on firmly.

"Candy," L repeated slowly. Tsuki lifted his finger to his face and poked at his chubby cheek clumsily.

Raito felt his body stiffen in remembrance.

"That reminds me…what did you do to this kid?"

L looked up from Tsuki and noticed the sudden change in Raito's expression.

"…What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! I don't know what you've been teaching him, but he's using all of it against me. He's…" Raito clamped down on his own voice, hearing it rise a bit too high. "When did you teach him all the sign language? And how is he understanding what I'm saying?"

Frowning in confusion, L tended to his fruit platter.

"Using it against you? I've only been able to teach him four signs."

"Four? But he knew everything I was saying! He knew…he knew father, mother, L, and…" Raito racked his brain as quickly as he could. He could have sworn Tsuki knew more than that.

"And candy. Raito-kun…Tsuki has very little comprehension of Japanese. He spent his entire life in America and his basic sound comprehension is mostly English. Misa must have been the only person to use Japanese around him."

Shaking his head, Raito thought about the 'conversation' he had with Tsuki earlier that morning. Had the kid really been bluffing?

"No…he knew what I was saying. He knew, I know he did."

L regarded the slice of watermelon held in his hand, contemplating that sentiment.

"Tsuki-tan is an incredibly intelligent baby, but he is a baby. And not only that, he is experiencing language confusion. I feel that teaching him basic sign language techniques will help to absorb some of the shock of his transition, but as to what you are speaking of…" L took a bite of the watermelon, taking a moment of silence to relish the flavor. "Raito-kun may be seeing what he wants to see, rather than what is really there."

The idea hit Raito like a sharp slap in the face. His anger and his fear dissipated, and he was numb with the sensation of feeling absolutely helpless.

Tsuki let out a sudden noise, a kind of breathy coo, obviously out of enjoyment from the candy. Raito heard it and glanced down, losing track of his defenses. Tsuki's arms were waving around wildly, much to his own amusement, and chocolate was smeared all over his chin and his cheeks. Grimacing at the messy sight, Raito put the baby down on the floor, where he proceeded to crawl away immediately. Raito watched him as he made a beeline for a stack of toys in the living room.

"Never mind." Raito leaned back into his chair and interlaced his fingers together on the table, collecting his thoughts.

L watched him from the corner of his eye, trying his best to inconspicuous. Despite it not being one of his strongest talents, Raito appeared to be so lost in thought that he simply stared at his hands, blinking every now and again. He never even noticed that L's attention was on him.

The detective reached out and picked up the platter of fruit, setting it down on Raito's side of the table.

"Raito-kun has not eaten since this morning, I believe. He was not at his parent's house long enough to require a meal."

"No, you're right…I haven't eaten in awhile." Raito reached out and took a slice of cantaloupe without even batting an eye in L's direction. Chewing on it thoughtfully, he once again lost himself in thought.

'Now,' thought L. 'Now is good.'

"Raito-kun? May I ask you something…out of curiosity?"

"Hm?" The younger man looked up quickly, his eyes just barely meeting with L's. "Sure."

"I wish to ask you about Misa and the night before she left for America."

Raito frowned, mostly out of confusion.

"That all of a sudden? What for?"

L shoved an entire strawberry into his mouth, speaking around it.

"Like I said, for curiosities sake. What was the first thing you said to her when you met up that night?"

"Well," Raito looked up at the ceiling for a moment, taking a small bite from his cantaloupe. "Let's see…that was an awfully long time ago. I really can't remember."

Nodding his head, L reached out and grabbed at the box of vanilla Hello Panda cookies. His fingers just barely grazed the front, and it fell over on the tabletop. Raito picked it up and opened the cardboard top, reaching into the box and tearing open the inner plastic before handing it over to L.

The older man took the cookies and watched as Raito got up from his seat and walked towards the hallway.

"Wait, Raito-kun. Please, one more question."

Raito turned and looked to L, waiting patiently.

"What was the last thing you said to her before you left?"

Raito creased his eyebrows in thought, but then moments later his face cleared again in realization.

"Ah, I actually remember that pretty well. I told her to stay out of the fast food restaurants. She loves them and I knew she'd eat herself sick if there was one on every corner."

L took a cookie into his hands, twirling it around between his fingers.

"Thank you very much, Raito-kun. I will try my best not to bring this up again."

Toying with the cookie, L watched Tsuki playing in the living room until Raito was far enough away for comfort. L wasn't afraid of Raito. He was, however, definitely afraid _for_ him, and Tsuki, as well.

"I am very sorry, Raito-kun," he whispered. "95 percent."

* * *

Ah hahaha…I no update for long time. Actually, it was a rather normal amount of time, since I am no longer sick. I had a lot of things get in my way. Don't you hate it when real life demands that you participate?

Also, I was busy cause, after weeks of searching/begging, I finally downloaded Nekrateholic, which I have wanted for a seriously long amount of time. Alas, no English scanslations for me, but at least I got to see the artwork and storyline (however choppy my understanding of kanji is), and I was incredibly happy.

And then, a lovely person from LJ sent me a link to the extra scenes from the Death Note 3 hour director's cut thingie, and I was like…oh, holy crap. My RaitoxL meter snapped in half, I was so happy. So happy. So happy. I am still on a high from seeing that. I wish I had English subs, though, cause I am wondering why the hell all that mess happened. Geez, I don't care, though, as long as it did.

Faceplant-keyboard.

Ahem. Yes. Thanks for bearing with me through that. Thank you so much for the reviews, I love them all!

THE LIST OF TREASURED REVIEWERS EXCEEDS MY RECORD!! THANK YOU!!!!

Ninjahidinginthedark66

Expo (thanks for the monitor hug!)

Shadows (I love your reviews and look forward to hearing your thoughts!)

Rose-Dragonfire

Nadeschka

LawliPop

Oztan

K.A.Graves (woot! Top rated! (blushes) thank you very much!)

Derawr

Kaesaku (ur having a baby? Congrats! What's the name?)

Elfwarriorchick (I agree. I can see both sides.)

Nokturnal Augury (I wanna learn to sign L is the greatest detective in the world! goes to the internet and runs a search)

Crystal

Troll Logic (it is a creepy thing to think about, huh? It's pure evil, corrupting a baby!)

Copperdrops (hangs head in shamethe Death Note movies are currently taking up space on my hard drive, unwatched. And of course, I suck at Death Note rules. Really really badly, obviously. Incidentally, I started to watch the series again a few days ago purely for the thrill of seeing a moving L and saw the part where Raito says that you can't do that. Quite clearly. So, that makes me suck, and this fic even more AU than before. However, I really appreciate you pointing it out to me. It would suck if I went on thinking that forever.)

Allaboutcontests (thanks for reading. Yeah, I'm not very good at fluff. I really love angst, all day long, lol. My fluff usually comes off rather cynical and sarcastic.)

Patback409

Kiyoiyuki (to be honest, I really don't remember if Raito ever wrote in Misa's death note, but I thought he gave it away rather quickly after obtaining it, so the most I could see him doing is tearing some paper out of it. God, I hope not, the last thing I need is another inaccuracy at this point o0)

Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan

Riven Liether


	9. A New Proximity

Title: Three of Pentacles

Author: Evil Day

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Raito x L

Rating: let's say T or PG13 to be safe. It is yaoi.

Spoilers: Oh, yes. Everything up to…chapter 58. But that didn't happen in my world.

Disclaimer: I own many things. Death Note is not one of them.

Summary: The Kira investigation continues…and Raito is still without his memories. When something happens to Misa, Raito is left with something he never wanted. Thankfully, that something is what might bring he and L together. Raito x L yaoi.

And now, it's really AU, due to some inaccuracies pertaining to the Death Note. Please just roll with me on this one…it's going somewhere lol

* * *

Where did I go? My son's first birthday was this week. Yay! And I had to plan a party. Or rather, I had to listen to my Mom plan a party for the past week. What? I don't wanna do it! I mailed the invitations! Oh, and I picked out the part theme – Monsters! I'll post pics of the party on my author page, check 'em out! And for more on what I've been doing besides writing my strange little fic, read my closing notes. And now, I bring you…

Three of Pentacles, chapter 9!

* * *

L sat alone at the computer desk in the living room, trying his very best to work. The case that he and Raito had chosen was on the very brink of being complete. It hadn't been the sort of case that L would have normally selected simply due to the lack of difficulty, but he didn't want there to be anything that could possibly take his attention away from his true task.

Clicking his mouse, he closed the window he had been working in with a heavy sigh. He couldn't concentrate again. His unwarranted thoughts about Raito had been increasing in frequency over the past few days, and it wasn't only pertaining to the Kira case. Raito had simply been on his mind far too often, especially for someone that wasn't exactly far away.

L hugged his arms around his knees, pressing his toes into the soft seat of the computer chair. What would it be like to hold Raito-kun as close he was always holding himself?

His deadened features betrayed no obvious reaction, but inside, his mind was calculating.

Was this a weakness? L thought that it probably was. Perhaps that was part of the appeal.

Forgoing thought entirely, he put his hands on the armrests of the chair and touched his feet to the carpet, one at a time. He shut the computer off completely, snapping it shut and walking away into the hall.

L put his hand on the doorknob that opened into he and Raito's room. A part of him was angry with himself for succumbing to something so indistinct and incalculable in the first place. He couldn't rationalize what it was that he felt for Raito-kun, nor could he meticulously identify and solve the reasons why it was so difficult for him to even touch something so simple as another person's hand. There were no devastating memories, no conclusive evidence to prove that this was truly an ailment deserving of diagnosis and subsequent treatment.

But it ate away at certain parts of his inner landscape. An irrational craving is what he classified it as, but even that wasn't something he could file away so easily. The name was just as vague as the symptoms themselves.

L pushed the door open slowly, watching as the glow from the bright hallway trickled into the room, casting rivulets of light and shadow across the rumpled sheets of the bed.

He stood without moving as the beams illuminated the face of Yagami Raito. He didn't stir, and L knew he was sleeping soundly. He almost left at the sight, but he knew there wasn't any other way to rid his mind of the ambiguous ache. Casting off the rest of his reasoning, he shut the bedroom door.

Stepping softly, L lifted his right leg first and climbed onto his side of the mattress. Moving forward so that he was in the middle of the bed, he balanced himself on the tips of his feet, using his toes as leverage to assume his normal position. His left arm coiled around his knees, hidden beneath baggy blue and faded jeans.

His right arm extended outward, pulled by an unseen and untouchable force. He stopped just short of Raito's face, fingers hovering within inches of the smooth white skin. His hand was frozen in place, and briefly L allowed himself to wonder if he wasn't stirring up trouble where it wasn't needed.

'This is not part of Kira,' he thought silently, and his inner voice was firm. 'This is only Raito-kun. This is…what I have decided.'

The narrow tip of L's index finger lightly brushed the skin of Raito's cheek. The flesh there was just as soft as he had imagined it would be, but there was a firmness to it, hidden underneath.

The hand that was on L's knee crept up to his own face, and within moments L's thumb sought out a place in his mouth, stuck between his teeth. He chewed absentmindedly, running his other hand gracefully down Raito's face. The younger man was sleeping on his back with his face towards the ceiling, and hesitantly L's searching finger settled on his jaw, grazing the surface.

Raito twitched in his sleep, and just as quickly L's right hand darted back to his knees again. His left hand remained in place at the side of his own mouth, gnawing curiously at his thumbnail.

Was this wrong? He wouldn't have jumped at the sight of Raito-kun sensing him in his sleep if he hadn't thought he was at least somewhat in violation of the rights of the other boy.

L surveyed the scene with a detective's eye. Raito only slept with a single sheet in the summer, but sometime during his sleep it had gotten kicked and pushed down so that it only covered his feet and part of his legs below the knees. As always, he slept only in a pair of pajama bottoms. Tonight's choice was red and black plaid flannel. The bare skin of his chest was as pale as that on his face, and L wondered if it felt the same. Maybe it was different.

L wasn't sure if he ought to find out.

"…Raito-kun."

A short frown crossed Raito's features, but it was soon replaced with the peace of sleep once more. L moved his face in a bit closer.

"Raito-kun."

The younger man's eyes slid open. He met the intense gaze of L without a start, something he'd had to adapt to over time. His face still held the essence of someone who still wasn't sure if they were still dreaming or not.

"What's wrong?" Raito rubbed at his cheek with the back of his hand. L thought that maybe Raito could feel his lingering touch, but he said nothing to that effect.

"I am…I have been thinking again."

"About what?" Raito blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the shadowy atmosphere.

"About you."

Sleep-filled eyes met L's gaunt and unreadable expression, although L suspected that Raito could almost see straight through him. Almost.

Raito lifted his upper body and rested back on his elbows, appearing slightly more awake.

"What do you want?" Raito's voice held no irritation or sense of annoyance. He asked the question sounding for all the world like he wanted the real answer this time.

L didn't think he had one. He knew he could offer up a choppy explanation of why he might possibly feel such a way, but as for what he wanted Raito to do exactly…he didn't know.

He couldn't ask. He wanted what he couldn't understand.

The thought of not having an answer was frustrating, and L pulled his knees closer to his chest in defiance. His teeth worked at this thumbnail furiously, digging for the truth within his mouth. It wasn't there.

He was just toying around with the idea of resigning himself to his fate and leaving when Raito suddenly sat up on the bed and crossed his legs in front himself, facing L. His expression was blank, but open, and his arms were at his sides, his hands resting on his thighs.

"Come here."

L stared, watching Raito's face in the dark. His eyes had adjusted somewhat to the lack of light, but seeing him this way evoked the feeling of being in another place entirely. Uncertainty was masked by almost total night, and the connection he felt to Raito-kun was strengthened by the weakness of his other senses.

He took his thumb away from his lips, but that was all.

Raito let out a short, even-tempered laugh, and it was so small and quiet that L barely had time to catch it before it faded into the darkness.

"Get off of your toes for once." The tone that Raito's voice held was tinged with amusement, and L couldn't help but teeter a bit with his balance, thinking about the what the younger man thought so funny.

"Raito-kun, sitting like this is quite important for my thought process."

"Exactly."

L watched as Raito chose his words carefully.

"It's not something that you can analyze, Ryuuzaki." Raito spoke plainly this time, keeping his voice low even though there was no one to hear them. "You're thinking about this too much. It's just the opposite."

The detective stared, mulling over that statement with a sinking feeling. He had suspected that might be the case, and it was something he wasn't sure if he would be able to do.

"Don't think about it. Don't think about anything."

Raito's hands came up and grasped L's upper arms. L's muscles tensed and his shoulders rose in a subconscious defense, but Raito wasn't thrown off for a moment. Holding on firmly but without putting any real pressure on the older man's arms, he pulled ever so slightly towards himself until L's balance was thrown.

The moment L's knees came down on the mattress, Raito was up on his own knees. He let go of the detective's arms and waited, counting the seconds and watching L's f ace no more than a foot away. L knew that he was under scrutiny, but he did as Raito had suggested and avoided thinking about it entirely.

"Ryuuzaki, I have to ask…don't you still think that I may be Kira?"

"…The percentage of Raito-kun being a Kira at the moment has not changed." It wasn't a lie; that much was true given the current circumstances, although L deliberately chose his words.

Raito's eyes searched L's own, and even in the dark L could feel it. It was almost as if Raito were sifting through his mind, searching for something.

"Then…why me? Wouldn't this be dangerous?"

Of course it was dangerous. It was almost stupid, even, but L did not want to think of it that way. He'd been over it so many times in his mind that the worn pathways in his brain needed to rest. Raito-kun was right about that…he needed to not think about it.

"I don't have a satisfactory answer for that. I have decided that it is because…you are Raito-kun."

A look of tense acceptance crossed Raito's features, grayed out in the darkness.

Then, before L could blink, Raito's left arm was snaking around his waist, pulling insistently. His other arm found it's way around L's shoulders, and all at once L found himself locked in a firm embrace.

His chin just barely touched Raito's shoulder, and the swift motion had forced his back to straighten out some. Nearly 27 years of tension was locked into that hunched position, and the shock of that combined with the nervous proximity of Raito-kun was enough to bait L's panic. He put his hands on Raito's chest, not pushing very hard but still protesting in a feeble sort of way.

"Hey…" The rich timbre of Raito's voice resonated inches from L's ear, calm and steady. It was infectious. "Relax."

Raito's even breaths danced over the skin on L's neck, causing all of the tiny, invisible hairs to stand on end. He stopped trying to push him away, but he couldn't bring himself to relax. He wondered if he ever had before.

L kept his hands where they were and brought his forehead to join them on Raito's chest in an inadvertent attempt to hide from himself. At first he'd thought that Raito's arms were trapping him and a tinge of claustrophobia had raced through his veins, but he both listened to and felt Raito's steady breathing and felt the initial fear slipping away. Raito smelled clean, like freshly scrubbed skin with no particular scent of soap or shampoo.

There was something dangerous about this, and as that thought crossed L's mind he found it somewhat thrilling. Was he getting better? L had nothing to compare it to, but a strange thought crossed his mind and he flinched. He was completely and utterly helpless.

L knew that, logically, that wasn't totally true. He was a very skilled fighter, and if need be he could physically extricate himself from most situations, but that wasn't the sort of helpless that he was feeling at the moment. If Raito-kun truly wanted to, he could kill L, right here and now. He could slip his hands to L's throat and strangle him to death. It would only take less than a second to get to his neck from where his hands were, currently, pressed against L's back.

'Such an odd thing to think, at this moment,' he thought to himself. It was haunting him, lacing his brain with half-formed suggestions and racing images. But no matter how careless L suspected he was acting, a tiny truth inside of him said that all of this helplessness was weirdly liberating.

"Ryuuzaki."

Raito's voice penetrated his inner musings, breaking the spell the silence was attempting to weave.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" L lifted his face and met Raito's eyes, only inches above his own.

Raito cracked a smile at L's response.

"You know, you sound the same. Like nothing strange is happening at all." Raito's grin broadened.

L sat back a little onto his heels, and Raito let his hands slide down from his shoulders, coming to rest on the small of the older man's back. L didn't try to stop him.

"Do you find this strange, Raito-kun?"

Raito shook his head, wearing a lopsided and knowing smirk.

"No. In fact…after living with you for this long, I think it's the most normal thing I've ever seen from you."

* * *

Bang.

Raito purposely did not look up from his dinner, knowing exactly where the loud noises were coming from.

Bang. "Di-di-di-di-di- DA!" Bang.

Narrowed brown eyes glared over the edge of his bowl. Tsuki sat a few feet away on the floor in front of his high chair. In his tiny hand he held a clear plastic ball filled with tiny rattle seeds, an accessory that went to one of his larger play sets.

Tsuki's eyes met his father's with a look of pure determination.

"Da! Di-di-di Da!" He slammed the plastic ball against the leg of his high chair, staring Raito down. Bang.

Raito brought his attention back to his food. Giving into demands such as these was not within his realm of capability. He mentally laughed at the audacity of such a thing, a baby insisting that he interrupt his own meal just to feed him.

"Raito-kun…" L's tired drawl interrupted his stand off. Sitting next to Raito at the dining room table with the computer open in front of him, he didn't even spare a glance at the younger man, too occupied by his current situation. "I am very busy right now. Can you please feed Tsuki?"

Raito responded with an annoyed scoff and a curled lip in L's direction.

"Why? What are you doing?"

L pointed at the screen of his computer. "I am informing the police on the suspect we have narrowed the search down to. I will only be a few minutes longer." L resumed typing, and Raito knew that the matter was closed.

Raito sat for approximately 5 seconds, fuming in silence, although he knew that if he sat any longer, L would have called it pouting. Wanting to avoid any discussion of that sort, he stood up from his chair haughtily and picked up Tsuki, placing him in the high chair without looking at him directly.

Walking into the kitchen, he took one of the plastic toddler spoons from the drawer he'd noticed had appeared some time ago, and then stood in the middle of the floor, looking back and forth.

"Where's the baby food?" he asked, sounding exactly as annoyed as he really was.

L paid the tone little mind.

"The cabinet by the fridge, on the left."

Raito pushed his fingers around through the little glass jars, looking at all the different kinds of puree the food companies had managed to come up with. He decided on something that was about as far away from candy he could find. Broccoli.

Taking the jar and the spoon back to the dining room, Raito pulled a chair and sat down in front of the high chair. Tsuki began to bang on the high chair tray impatiently as soon as he saw the signs of dinner Raito held in his hands.

Raito forced his face into neutral. He'd promised the baby more attention, and he knew it, and no matter what had actually transpired in order for Raito to make such a promise didn't matter. Maybe Tsuki was acting this way because he wanted Raito's attention.

Tsuki slammed his hands down on the tray again, yelling as loud as he could. Raito felt his eye twitch, and he gritted his teeth to keep from yelling back. That would just look ridiculous…but it didn't change the fact that he still wanted to.

"No, Raito-kun. Please, give him cereal first. After he eats a handful of cereal, then give him a jar of food."

L resumed his typing, either unaware or unconcerned with the glare Raito was sending to the side of his head.

Heaving out the loudest sigh he could manage, Raito got up once more and went back into the kitchen, fishing out a box of dry cereal from the cupboard. He stuck his hand inside and grabbed a handful, taking it back to Tsuki and putting it on the tray in front of him. The baby immediately put his hand in the pile, grabbing a few pieces at a time and shoving them into his mouth.

Raito sat back and watched. This wasn't so hard, he supposed, but he knew that Tsuki couldn't feed himself with any utensils yet. He would have to do that messy job, and he hadn't ever done it before. It couldn't be that hard, though.

Tsuki took his time with the cereal, and Raito grabbed his own dinner from across the table, making sure to stick his arm in between L and his computer as he worked.

The older detective didn't even blink. As Raito had learned not to jump or yell when awoken at odd hours by L's face stuck into his own, L too had learned a few things in his time with the younger man. Silently riding out a stubborn hissy fit was one of those things.

Peace reigned for roughly three minutes.

Raito set his bowl down on the table, finally finished with his own dinner. L still typed furiously to his right. Tsuki still shoved little pieces of cereal into his mouth on the left.

Eyeing the other two residents of the building secretively, L clicked out of the window he was working in. He would have to wait until the police apprehended the suspect before anything further could be done. Satisfied for the moment, he kept quiet about being finished, wanting to watch the proceedings from his front row seat.

Raito sat stiff and silent, his back pressed against the wooden chair. His arms were folded against his chest, and he was watching Tsuki with a tired stare.

"Ba…ba-ba-ba-ba…" Tsuki picked up another piece of cereal. There were only about ten or so left from the handful Raito had dumped on the tray. Pinching the tiny ring in his hand, he met Raito's gaze and flung the cereal over the edge of the tray. Raito watched it fall onto the carpet.

"Ba?" Tsuki grinned widely at his father, and his smile pulled his face so wide his cheeks rounded into little circles, dimples marking the left side. Putting his hand to the tray again, he grabbed two more pieces of cereal and let them go over the edge. They, too, fell to the carpet.

"Ryuuzaki, " Raito pointed at Tsuki, giving the older detective an offended stare, "He's throwing his cereal."

"Then feed him from the jar." L thought it was a simple enough conclusion, but Raito was withholding intelligence in favor of being difficult. L smiled, his face turned away from the two of them. His partner's behavior was almost comfortingly Raito-like.

Raito picked up the jar of baby food, twisting off the cap with an audible pop. Stirring it with the plastic spoon, he brought a small amount to his nose and sniffed.

"…Ugh. He'll really eat this?"

L nodded, his eyes trained on the laptop screen.

Turning his attention to the baby once more, Raito pushed the spoonful of pureed broccoli to Tsuki's mouth. Tsuki ate it easily, well used to being fed just about anything that could be ground into a paste.

"Hm." Raito mentally shrugged. This wasn't as awful as he'd suspected it might be. For some reason, he had imagined that the baby would make a huge mess or rub broccoli in his hair, or something else equally nauseating to Raito. But Tsuki took bite after patient bite, until the jar was almost halfway gone.

"Is it difficult, Raito-kun?"

L's eyes met Raito's briefly over the top edge of the laptop L was still pretending to be using. The older man had been watching avidly from his place at the dining room table, finding that the sight of Raito feeding his son was almost endearing. If Raito hadn't been wearing his standard but subtle "unhappy face" (which L had concluded long ago was a perfect hybrid between boredom and elitism), it would have been almost charming.

"No, I suppose not," came the indifferent reply. "At least it isn't messy."

"Ah." L knew how feedings ended. But Raito did not, which was most, if not all, of the fun.

The spoon was just hovering near Tsuki's mouth when the baby suddenly decided that he wanted to feed himself. Quickly his hand darted up from his side and grabbed at the spoon Raito held. He missed, only because Raito saw the tiny hand moving just soon enough to move it out of the way.

"Don't grab at it…just eat it." Raito's voice was firm, and Tsuki regarded his father's face carefully as he was offered the spoon again, more cautiously this time. He ate the spoonful, then reached out again and tried to take the now empty utensil away from Raito.

Raito pulled on his end of the spoon. Tsuki's grip was surprisingly strong, and all of his fingers were wrapped tightly around the plastic.

"No! Quit it…let go!" Raito pried the little fingers from the spoon one by one, yanking it back.

"Da di-di-di-di da!" Tsuki laughed and hit his hands on the high chair tray.

Setting his mouth in a straight line, Raito scooped up another spoonful of broccoli, eyeing Tsuki closely as he brought the food towards the baby's face. Tsuki opened his mouth, waiting for the bite. As soon as the broccoli was an inch or so from his mouth, Tsuki grabbed at the spoon again. Raito jerked his arm back but the baby's fingers were already closed around the top of the spoon, squishing into the broccoli and getting it all over his hand.

"Damn it!" Raito turned his anger to L. "How do you make him stop?"

L feigned irritation with his now imaginary police dealings, tossing an uninterested look in Raito's direction.

"It is a natural reaction at his age. He is interested in learning to feed himself. You simply must not allow him to take the spoon."

"Well, if it's so easy for you, then you do it."

"Raito-kun…I am busy."

The younger man watched L as he worked, snatching the spoon back into his own grip. L's eyes and attention were on the computer, but his toes were working wildly, moving and twisting around on the edge of the chair seat. Raito knew this action well, and deduced from it that L was either very nervous, or very amused. Sheer pessimism and a nagging hunch told him it was the latter.

Ignoring the discovery, Raito turned his attention back to the baby, who was wiping broccoli all over the high chair. He exhaled sharply through his nose, looking into the jar and seeing that there wasn't very much food left inside. Enough for two or three more baby-sized bits sat at the bottom of the glass jar, and Raito decided just to hurry up and have the whole ordeal over and done with.

He scraped the bottom and sides of the jar with the baby spoon, heaping the rest of the puree into one huge bite. If Tsuki put his hand in it again, then Raito would be done, since all the food would be gone. Feeling confident in his plan, he lifted the spoon up and edged it towards Tsuki's mouth, watching for his son's hand.

Tsuki made no attempts to grab at the utensil this time around. He opened his mouth wide, and Raito dumped the entire contents of the rest of the jar into his mouth.

Tsuki's eyes widened and then scrunched shut, and he took a deep breath around his mouthful of broccoli, making a suddenly strange face. He lifted his chin, his mouth still open and baby food still on his tongue and in his mouth.

"Duck."

Raito looked at L, but before he could wonder what the detective meant by that command, Tsuki sneezed.

Many things happened all at once. Raito realized that Tsuki's odd expression was the beginnings of a powerful baby sneeze. He also realized, in the same moment, that L had meant for him to duck as in, 'duck down or else you will be covered in baby food'.

However, Raito had not ducked and instead stayed exactly where he had been. He was still in that exact same position, staring at L, only now he had been sprayed with a mixture of broccoli puree and baby spit.

A white-hot flame of anger flickered in the recesses of Raito's heart and threatened to grow by the second. He could smell broccoli. He could feel it in his eyelashes. He looked down.

L's toes were curled around the edge of the seat he wasn't able to sit in correctly, frozen in anticipation.

Raito closed his eyes.

"Da di-di-di-di- Di! Ba!"

Tsuki waved his hands, finding sneezing to be fun. L waited patiently, withholding all commentary.

All at once, Raito stood up from his seat and slammed the plastic spoon down on the dining table, a foot or so from L's computer. The entire table shook from the force of the blow. Standing upright, Raito stomped out of the room, the lush carpet muffling his heavy footsteps.

Tsuki and L both watched him go. Tsuki, of course, had no idea anything was wrong, and as L looked over at the baby he found him playing with the mess on his high chair tray. Tiny fingertips painted swirls and circles of broccoli puree as Tsuki babbled breathily to himself.

L smiled once more, the second time in a matter of minutes. Raito-kun was most upset, but that wasn't what he was smiling about.

* * *

Ahh…Since I was gone for a long while, I kept writing until the chapter was of decent length. The second half was very easy to write, since it's, um, something I've experienced. Lolz. The first half was incredibly difficult for me to write, and is part of the reason this chapter took so long in coming. Cause see, it's not really sexy at all, but in a way, it's incredibly sexy. The sheer amount of tension and uncertianty alone makes it sexy at least for me, so every couple of sentences I had to stop and gnaw at my keyboard.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading!

My next Death Note project, unfortunately, will not be posted on fan fiction dot net, due to the still current ban on explicit sexual content, and the last thing I want is my account deleted. I'm going to be starting a Raito x L kink series. Basically a series of one-shots exploring the sickest and most disturbing sexual dysfunctions (kinks) I can come up with. Sounds like fun for me, yay! So, if you're into that sort of thing, you can add me on Live Journal, which is where I also post fan fiction (and currently reside). I might post in adult fan fiction dot net, as well. Idk.

Just go to my author page. There's lots of fun stuff to do there, anyway

MY TREASURED REVIEWERS! I HEART YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH! THANK YOU!

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Shadows (your reviews keep me grounded, and I thank you for that. You always let me know exactly how clear or unclear certain things are, and it's really helpful because that's how I gauge how much more to reveal. You are actually a pretty important factor in the integrity of my fic, thank you very much!)

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